I'm still here

Went to the doctor, Dr. Hatch, last week and she said that I shouldn't be surprised that I'm gaining weight. It seems that the medicine I'm on (Arimidex) causes most people to gain 10% of their body weight!!! Add to that the fact that I'm now in menopause because of the hysterectomy, and I'm going to gain weight. I am so NOT happy about this. I actually have been more active lately and haven't changed my eating habits... Boy, does this suck. Also, I just found out that my Arimidex is $400 a month. Wow, glad I have insurance.

I'm in the middle of doing laundry and packing for my trip to LA. My sister is hosting Christmas this year. I wish Chris was able to go also, but he has a big test coming up... My brother is flying in to LA soon and Mum is already there. I can't wait to see the girls, Sage and Jade, since it has been so long. Last time I was there was at least 2 years ago... Maybe I'm calculating wrong?

Chris is on his way home from Alaska, where he fell and hurt his wrist. He'll need an xray when he gets home. We hope it isn't broken. His "walking on ice" technique is a little rusty.

Creeping up on the holidays

It is getting closer, no matter what I do about it.
My Theatre Arts students are doing a production of The Sneeches on December 18th. What that really means is I am doing a production and as usual, have to make sure everything happens. Costumes, direction, set, rehearsals... I was wise in that I am narrator, so they have very few lines to memorize.
Next week my 7th graders have to take a writing benchmark and I'm trying to prep them for it.
Just realized that I have done no shopping or preparation of any kind. Thank goodness Becka is able to make the flight reservation for me - yeah, I called her TODAY. I'm a professional caliber procrastinator. I am going to LA to spend Christmas and New Years with my sister, Becka and her family (James, Sage, and Jade.) I really look forward to seeing the girls, it has been a long time.
Chris has interviews this week within driving distance, so he doesn't have to fly. He is happy about that. Next week he is off to Alaska! Wish I could go, because I'd love to see Alaska, but I can't leave work for the last few days before Christmas break... It's actually in my contract!

AARRGGH

I'm at work/school right now and really frustrated! My lesson plan and preparation was for us to spend our computer lab time working in an on-line learning program that the school district uses. We can't log on!! Tap dancing ensues. I have directed my students to a learning activity website, but I can't monitor them or pull grades for their work today, so it is pretty much a wasted day. AARRGGHH! Of course our tech services people can only be contacted via an on-line program and that seems to not be working either... Good thing I was observed earlier today. Except, maybe my excellent tap dancing would have earned me points...

Chris is in Florida and says that his residents dinner last night was lame. For some reason they had it at one of those Japanese steakhouses, where they do all the fancy knife skills and cook at the table, so it was difficult to talk about anything. Also, Chris says, there were at least 3 people there that shouldn't have been (they were roommates or friends of residents) and had just been brought along for the free meal. Useless. The point is to talk with people in the program to find out more about it. Not to some one's roommate about their travels. Tonight he goes to Clearwater, which is close to where my mom lives. She is going with him to the dinner - that is OK. It makes sense for spouses and parents to attend these dinners! I think Chris wanted her to go to the interview day as well, but I don't think she is up for it.

Still have the tiniest bit of a toothache. I also got bitten on my right arm somehow, a bunch of times by something, a mosquito? I have about 8 bites and my arm is hurting a bit. I am supposed to be cautious about any injury to my arm from bites to burns to scrapes, because it can trigger Lymphedema. I hope, hope, hope that this is not the start of some Lymphodema in my arm. I spent a little time doing the exercises and a little arm massage yesterday and I hope I am just imagining a little hardness in the upper arm. Boy would that suck! I am willing myself not to scratch!!!

El Paso

Spent the last week in El Paso. I went to have Patrick (my brother in law)take a look at my teeth. I was dreading the checkup because chemo does a number on your teeth. Turns out that it was both better and worse than I expected.
I arrived on Sunday and Patrick picked me up at the airport. I hung out with the family that evening and had a great time. The twins are so big! This is their senior year and they are applying for schools. Andrew is a giant! I determined that it had been almost 3 years since I've been in El Paso. Thought it was more like 1 1/2. Patrick and Lauren have done some remodelling and the house looks great. Melissa has grown into a beautiful young lady and Walter is a great kid. We had dinner together and watched a movie.
The next day I went with Patrick in to his office and had my xrays done and teeth cleaned. The news was pretty good - two cavities and a cracked tooth that really didn't need anything done, but we were going to be proactive. Hoppy (uncle in law?)was at the office for some work and we went to lunch at Chico's. Love Chico's!! Can't go to El Paso and not hit Chico's. In the afternoon I had my teeth filled and we went back to Patrick's house. We had pizza and watched some Gilmore Girls. I now have to find the series...
The next morning we went back to the office to do the crown (that's what we decided to do about the cracked tooth) and I was hoping to be done after lunch so I could go and hang with Danny and Lisa for a couple of days. No, it was not to be. Patrick tried every which way to numb me and it wouldn't take. Turns out the reason it wouldn't numb is that I had some issues and would need a root canal. Short version: Spent all day in the chair and had no fun at all. Lauren had accidentally cut her finger and we all (the whole family) were planning to go to lunch at a Korean place. I couldn't really enjoy... I was finally numb and had a hard time eating.
That evening I went over to stay with Danny and Lisa and had an amazing time. We watched a lot of movies and just hung out. I really miss having them close by. Wednesday was my birthday and we spent it watching movies (I haven't seen LOTS of movies and needed to catch up) and eating Indian food. It was great. I accidentally bought a ticket for my return flight on Thanksgiving day, so we were trying to figure out what to do about that... Turns out I decided to "miss" my flight so I could spend Thanksgiving in El Paso. We went to Leah and Tom's house and had a wonderful time. We had lots of food and fun and I felt like one of the family. We also played Rock Band and I sang. Leah was so complimentary - she loves to hear me sing. It felt good to stretch those muscles. The only drawback was that my tooth was hurting. Good thing I had brought pain pills. Later that night my tooth was throbbing and I had taken all the pain pills I could, so I had to put ice on my jaw. Things were not looking good. Good thing I had not gone home...
The next morning, Friday, I decided that I should talk to Patrick about my tooth pain before I tried to reschedule my flight. This was a good idea! Patrick went out of his way to see me, adjust my bite, prescibe some meds (antibiotic and analgesic) and get rid of my pain. Thank you Patrick!!! Later that day, we went back to Leah's for round 4 & 5 of the food orgy. It was great. I have rediscovered Brussels Sprouts! We watched Gladiator, which I hadn't seen. I scheduled my return for the next day. Later back to Danny and Lisa's to put Phoebe to bed (she's adorable!) and watch Coraline. Came back to Galveston on Saturday.
Teeth are fine. I'm taking the Ibuprofen and antibiotics.
Had to do an on-line component of a teacher training thing today, but otherwise it has been laziness. Chris and I finally watched the first few episodes of Glee!

Thanksgiving

Going to El Paso tomorrow! I am excited to see old friends and family. Patrick has agreed to do some dental work on me...

I am so thankful for...
Chris
Chris
Chris
a job I love
a healthy(ish) body
a future
my mom -who saw me through the worst, and is always there
Carolyn and Pat -who took me in, cared for and nurtured me, and shared soup
Steve -who did more than I could expect
Mary -who sent care packages, love and prayers
Joel -who sent support, love and funny comments
family
my friends (they are the family you choose for yourself)
Drs. Hatch, Sylva, Arristea, Basille...
nurses (chemo and other) who made it a little easier
Haas
massages (Merry and Katrina)
the radiation techs
Brandon, David, and Sherman (last year at work would have been unbearable without you)
audio books

Not much going on/Too much going on

Sorry about my infrequent posts. Between all the "trainings" I've been to recently and stuff coming due at work I've been swamped. I come home from school, putt around for a while and go to bed!

On the 5th, I went to a Reading and Writing Conference -which was great. I got lots of useful information. On the 6th, I went to a video conference about how to teach the Holocaust. This was wonderful! It was co-hosted by the United States Holocaust Museum and they gave us LOTS of materials and information. I hope to go there some day... I also hope some day to go to see some of the sites of the atrocity.

As usual, I had double work because I had to leave my kids for two days... Also, I was volunteered by my principal to be on the committee for adopting the new Reading and Language Arts textbooks. This committee meets every week for a few months AND I have to leave school early to make it to the meeting. Luckily my last class on Thursdays is one where I have the kids 5 days a week and they are doing well. I will miss about an hour of instruction with them every week!!!

Health-wise I'm doing OK. My surgery site is still hard and swollen, but I rarely take anything for it. I have been having a few headaches lately, I guess the hormones have to settle, huh?

I have a trip planned to El Paso, November 22-27. Pattrick, my brother in law, has agreed to do some dental work on me! I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I'm grateful. Chemo does a number on your teeth, not to mention the rest of your body. I hope he finds very little wrong, although that's not what I expect.

Chris is doing Jacksonville and Chicago early this week...

Reminder...

I have just been reminded of how far I've come. I was assigned the bowling booth at our Fall Festival on Friday night and spent about 45 minutes constantly bending and putting bowling pins in place. At that point I was really tired and sweat was rolling down my face, so I asked another teacher to take over. I am paying for that activity today. I feel kinda like I did in the worst stages of chemo, at least from the neck down. Sitting and standing are tough and I had to stop and rest while walking in the mall. I have been reminded how far I've come and that it wasn't so long ago that I was the "lady in the wheely cart." I guess I've been feeling pretty good recently and was starting to take it for granted. I have become accustomed to having enough energy and ability for my day to day activities, and have found myself doing more and more. I just did too much this time.

Today Chris goes to Corpus Christi for another Residency Interview. He didn't like Milwaukee much, but really liked Connecticut. Keep the fingers crossed that he does well at the UTMB interviews. I want to stay, now that I have a job I love.

This next week at work will be weird. Monday we have no school due to parent/teacher conferences and then on Thursday and Friday I will be out for training. Since we are on a MWF and TT schedule I have one day with each of my classes! Trying to figure out how to not have the time wasted. Those of you who teach know the low likelihood of them doing anything with a substitute...

Mauri Howell (McGloughlin) had a baby! She now has another girl in the family. Welcome Sarah, you are a lucky girl.

I hab a code

I have a cold. All of my lovely students have been spreading it around and I finally got it. I guess it was just a matter of time. I had a fever yesterday...

Chris goes to Connecticut tomorrow. I'm taking him to the airport this time.

My Theatre Arts kids did our show about bullying on Friday and it went really well. I am so proud of them! They wanted to do something to stop the bullying going on at school and doing a play to educate the student body was one of their suggestions. We improved and rehearsed it and it turned out great. It was done as a Jerry Springer type show, with time for audience feedback and questioning. The kids answered questions in character! I am SO proud.

Alone-ish

Chris is off in Waco for a residency interview. Last night he was in Dallas, where they had a reservation for him and his wife "Dawn" at a bed and breakfast. I hope he and Dawn had a good time - I had to work today so I couldn't join them. Tonight he is at another bed and breakfast. Wish I was with him.

Massive, painful, unending, unyielding headache today. I have taken all kinds of stuff: Imitrex, Hydrocodone, muscle relaxer, naproxen, caffeine, sugar, food, water, sleep ... You name it and I've tried it. Now, not all at the same time, but some in combination. I hope I can shake it by tomorrow, since we have a field trip to see a play.

Update

Nothing much to report. Chris has been getting residency interviews right and left. He has about 26 so far. I think he has WAY too many, but I know he wants to hedge his bets. He just got one in Alaska that he is really excited about. I, now that I have a job I really enjoy, would like to stay here. He has a UTMB interview booked so: We will see.

Got my flu shot today. Although I know I need them, I hate getting them because I always feel achy for a day or so afterwards and now that I am post-chemo, I already have the aches. My body aged significantly during the last year. My joints are stiff and sore all the time. Getting out of bed in the morning is tougher, physically than it ever was. BUT. I am alive, so I'll stop whining now.

I'm still having some pain in my surgical site along with swelling under the site and over my sternum. I don't really know what to do about that since I can't keep taking ibuprofen forever. I just try and take off my foob when I get home and I have cut WAY down on the meds. I still take a pill if it is hurting too much... I am down to every few days.

Saturday we had a really nice day. Chris and I spent the whole day together and had a good time. His old friend from high school, Rae, was in the Woodlands (far NW Houston) with her family attending her daughter's track meet. We drove up and spent some time with them. Then we went over to Michael and Donna's and spent the afternoon. Donna is recovering from Bronchitis, so she stayed in bed. I hope she is feeling better! Michael, Chris and I went out to eat for dinner and then we headed home. Since Chris and I are in search of some interview clothing for him, we stopped at a couple of places. We also stopped at Barnes and Noble, where they were having teacher appreciation day. I bought WAY too much stuff, but I didn't know I would be getting a discount until we got to the register, so that kept me more in line. I had been looking for a "Goosebumps" book in Spanish for one of my students who can't quite read in English yet. I bought the two they had and a few other things... The kids really enjoyed the Graphic Novel version of Dracula, which is also a coloring book. I have been reading them this classic and now they can color pages from the book while I read. Big hit!!! By the way, they are loving the "scary story" unit we are working on. I have them begging for more reading time! YAY!!

I DID IT!!!

I DID IT!!!!

I did the SUSAN G. KOMEN 5K RACE FOR THE CURE. I walked it because of course, as I said before, if I ran, it would become S. Chris Mitchell's Heart Attack for the Cure. I did the 5K (3 miles to those metrically challenged) in exactly 1 hour! My legs and ankles are really, really, really sore. I didn't train for it like I should have. I thought going up and down stairs at our jail hospital many times a day for over a month would have helped, but nope. I kept it at an easy pace trying not to get excited by the runners going the opposite direction from us towards the finish line as the walkers started. I felt like quitting a few times but I thought about all that Selena has gone thru and I pushed on.

I helped raised $257 for breast cancer treatment, screening and research. My group, UTMB Cancer Center Cruisin' for a Cure had about 150 and raised over $20,000 dollars! I met some really amazing people in my group. I am so proud to be associated with such a great group of people.

Thank you to those that donated to help me raise $157 over my quota. It is so amazing that so many people care.

Chris

SUSAN G KOMEN RACE/WALK FOR THE CURE

Hi Everyone,

I recently paid $30 to join and accept the challenge to raise money in honor of Selena in the 2009 Komen Houston Race for the Cure® being held on October 3rd in downtown Houston.

I will be walking the 5k (because if I ran, it would become Chris Mitchell's Heart Attack for the cure :)! I am obviously not asking you to come to Houston to see me walk. That would be really boring. All I am asking is that you please join me in the fight against breast cancer by pledging your support in the race. Your tax-deductible contribution will fund local innovative outreach, awareness and treatment programs for the medically underserved in the greater Houston and Galveston (UTMB) community as well as national cutting-edge breast cancer research. Please click here to go to my Susan G. Komen website page. The site accepts credit cards. What could be easier?

Thank you for your generosity.

Imagine Life Without Breast Cancer.

Sincerely,

Chris

Selena's New Car

We were really lucky to get the car. Our finances are not so good right now, but our other car was paid off and they gave us a really high trade in for it because we had done all of the maintenance at that Honda dealer. It was a little miracle that we got the car.

New car

Chris and I got a new car! Yesterday we bought a new CRV. It is silver and VERY nice. We are grateful that the old one didn't get too bad. The transmission was going out, we are sure of it. Now we can feel safe to drive wherever we need to go. Chris should be touring a good part of Texas with his residency interviews, so we feel better about that.

I saw a friend from Central, Tonya Boxley, at the Walmart tonight and she has just had back surgery. I wish I'd have known! Her daughter, Armani, was with her and that young lady has grown like a weed. One of her other children has type A flu. She is really upbeat about it, which is typical for her, but my thoughts and prayers go out to her.

Things keep moving

I went to a training last week, Saturday actually, and got to hang with my friends who are still at Weis. The best thing to come of the day was that I realized how fortunate I am. I have a great job, which I enjoy, and they are having to put up with LOTS OF CRAP. I am so grateful to not be there (at Weis) this year!

I am still battling the "nerve thing" which may or may not be sciatica. Some days are worse than others and I'm starting to think that it may be time to find a chiropractor. I've never been to one, but it may be time. I need to look into whether my insurance pays for it or not.

I dyed my hair. I got tired of being referred to as Chris' mom. I also kept seeing myself in the mirror and thinking it didn't look like me. In my mind I have dark hair. I also am much thinner, but what can you do? So, I dyed it. First it came out sort of light brown/gold - not my intention. I used temporary dye because I've been told that sometimes dye can react with the drugs left in your hair by the chemotherapy. So, the next day I dyed it again, just darker. I liked it BUT now since I've washed it a couple of times it is getting too light. I think I will just dive in and use a permanent dye on it and if my hair falls out, well... I've been there before haven't I?

I think Chris and I will be buying a car this weekend. Chris was in a wreck in our CRV last year and it was repaired but it still doesn't run right. We are a little leary of driving long distances in it because of the sounds it makes. It is out of warranty and things are starting to go wrong. The dealership will give a decent price on a trade-in so it is time. I let you know what we do.

Disappointing

Disappointing appointment today at Dr. Hatch's. She didn't like the way my site looked and didn't release me. In fact, I have another follow-up. I also am to call her if I need her. She made it sound like I would, need her I mean. She used the word "necrosis" a few times and even I know that means death of tissue. She thinks that the area just above my scar is looking not so good. I am to avoid any trauma(even seat belt rubbing), stop wearing my compression garment, sleep only on my left side, and not do any lymph massage or major exercise. She also said something very scary about "rupturing," and I choose not to even think about that. The big problem is that radiation has compromised the circulation and the cellulitis has not fully gone away. She did say she thought my hair was beautiful - she hadn't seen me in a while(since I had very little hair) AND I just dyed it brown. Hard to believe I have any vanity left...

Tonight was "meet the Teacher" night at my school and I had the opportunity to realize how inadequate my Spanish is. I struggled through a number of parent meetings and nobody told me I sucked. I just knew it instinctively. We also had a showing of Ike: A Documentary. I am so proud of my two former students, Maria and Melnikia who are part of the team that created this great film. They are going to some film festivals - Yay! I am definitely buying a copy of it when it is finally released. Tonight's version is SO different from the version I saw in May.

Less is more?

I know I'm posting less. There is just less stuff going on with my health - and that's a good thing. I'm still having trouble with my sciatic nerve on my left side. I've been taking muscle relaxants and ibuprofen and I can't say it's any better. In fact, it seems to go more down my leg now. I went for a massage last weekend and it helped. I really don't know what to do about it. The doctor said to stay on my feet and out of the chair, and I do. I rarely sit down during the day.

This Tuesday I have a Dr. Hatch appointment. She is/was my Radiation Oncologist. I guess it will be just a follow-up. I am feeling fine boob-wise. I have a little swelling around my surgical site, but it is not bad and it's controlled somewhat with the compression garment. I admit to being lazy about wearing it all the time since it is uncomfortable. So I'm trading one discomfort for another...

2 down..

We just finished our second week of school! I ended up staying extra late today because I realized that next Friday I have to do "progress reports." Yeah, I know. So...there was a frenzy of grading today after school.

My principal was asked to talk me into doing UIL One Act. I told him I would need a budget of at least $2500, hoping that would kill it. Turns out I have a "meeting" with the powers that be on Thursday to discuss. I told my principal, Mr. Paul, today that I thought my plate was too full to take this on and he said if I still feel the same after the meeting, we won't do it! I love this man.

Health wise, I'm feeling pretty good. I have a little more energy every day. I've gotten to the point where I don't have to lie down immediately when I get home from work. I have stayed up until 9:00! I'm a big girl now. I have also gotten used to my prosthetic and don't really notice it after I have had it on for a while. I'm going to steal a term from a fellow blogger and start calling it my FOOB (fake+boob= foob)

I love my new school.

My new school, Crenshaw, is turning out to be wonderful. It is really small. Each class is less than 10 kids except for my theatre class which has 15. Of course there are a couple of kids who are challenging, but you can deal with them! I mean that you can figure what's going on with them and help them. It is a luxury to have the ability to do that. I also found out that our school secretary is a Breast Cancer survivor - yay Cindy. I hope this continues to be what I think it is. I'm in love.

My sciatic nerve thing is getting somewhat better. I have been taking my meds and staying off my butt. The doctor said it was probably caused by too much sitting at once - INSERVICE!!!

My Occupational Therapist has released me. I'm not happy about it, but Chris gave me a lymph massage today and it really helped. I sure wish it was something I could do to myself. The area under my mastectomy scar gets swollen and hurts. Once again I thank God for Chris...

And so it begins...

School starts tomorrow. I went in today (Sunday) to get some more "getting ready" done. I saw my schedule and freaked! I have 8 different classes to prep for! Language Arts for 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, Theatre Arts, Reading Lab for 5th grade, Writing lab for 7th grade, reading lab for 6th!!! I am trying to be calm and think of two of them as extensions of the regular class... I guess I'll just do my best. One of my classes is Theatre Arts, so I don't have really any planning to do for that... I choose to look on the bright side. Hey, I have a job.

Went to the doctor on Saturday and she thinks I have either one of two things, both of which are treated the same. It's either a swollen muscle or sciatica. She gave me a muscle relaxant that won't make me drowsy and put me back on the ibuprofen. I tolerate it pretty well, but I've been on it forever. I am to take one of each every 8 hours for a couple of weeks and see how it goes. Also, I am to sit as little as possible - not hard for a teacher.

I just got my "compression garment" that I had ordered and it seems to help with the lymphatic swelling that I get around my mastectomy site. I will have to wear it at night and if/when I fly again. It is basically a long line bra with only one cup. I must remember to take it to my physical therapy tomorrow. Vickie has been eager to see it. We're hoping that it does the job and I don't have to buy a more expensive, custom-made version.

I don't think I mentioned it but I have a couple of friends at Crenshaw (my new school) already. I am right across the hall from Jesse Minter, who teaches Science. We became friends at a writing workshop a couple of years ago and now we are neighbors! It's nice to go into a new school with a friend or two to help you along... She is very kind and has invited Chris and I to stay at her mobile home on the beach if we need/want to. Her house was destroyed in the hurricane. Everyone has been nothing but nice and helpful. Jackie, the building engineer (custodian) is GREAT.

It's the weekend.

Today we sent Coinin, one of our bunnies away to another home. We are very sad. He and Haas became unbonded and have continued to fight so it is very hard to have two bunnies in the house who don't get along. We decided to keep Haas because he is the older of the two and in less good health. Coinin is just more adoptable. Sad. We've had him since he was a baby.

I finished up a week of in-service today. I'll be spending my weekend getting ready for Monday. I still have work to do in my room and planning. I did get my ferry pass today!!! I also got my door access card. Much of the last few days has been spent trying to get reconnected to all the systems. My accounts had been frozen or stopped for: Skyward (gradebook program), CareHere (health care), Eduphoria (help desk and training), and others.

I have been having a weird sciatic nerve thing since we spent 2 days sitting in these hard plastic chairs. I went to get a massage and that helped a bit, but I am still having trouble walking sometimes ( it comes and goes)and it HURTS. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning to see what is up.

Tomorrow it begins

Tomorrow is the first day of in-service. We have a convocation at 8:00. My school will meet the superintendent earlier in order to be introduced to our new assistant principal. I went and worked in my classroom on Friday and got a lot done. I have 6 student computers in my room as well as a lcd projector mounted in the ceiling! There are no windows, cause I'm in an interior room, but there is a locking storage cabinet and the desk locks!!! Joy. The custodial staff were great and I met/hung with the librarian. There are a few empty classrooms because not all that many people have moved back to the Bolivar area since the hurricane. The fire department is still working out of the band hall, so we are sharing a building. The school is nice new and well maintained. What a difference.

We finally got our phone fixed today. The Comcast guy came out. I KNOW - Sunday?

I have been watching Tru Blood and reading the Sookie Stackhouse books AND enjoying them thoroughly. Thank you Michael for sending me the set! This week begins the "everything I read is for work" part of the school year. In fact there are hundreds of books, mostly class sets of novels in my classroom and many/most of them I haven't read. I guess I need to get on it.

My chest is feeling a little tight, but I know I would be far worse if Sandy hadn't given me a massage. Thanks Sandy! She also did a little energy work on me on Wednesday before I left Bradenton. I have a Physical Therapy appointment tomorrow. My very kind therapist, Vickie, has volunteered to stay late for me. Usually by 4:00 she has wrapped up for the day. I am very fortunate that so many people have gone out of their way to help me.

Florida

Yes, Joel, I'm close - Mum says we're "right over the bridge." I'm in Bradenton. Call me. 409-750-1823 My flight leaves Tampa @ 4:10 Thursday.

Today we went out to visit with Audrey, Mum's nail tech, and have her do a little pampering. Mum had a pedicure and I had a mani/pedi and had my hair cut. This lady Mum uses to cut her hair is really good with curly hair!

Tonight we - Mum Sandy and I - went to Outback for birthday dinner. Mum's birthday is the 15th, but I will back to Galveston by then. She had (no surprise) a yen for prime rib. It was yummy. Afterwards Sandy came back to Mums and helped me out with some lympedema massage and a little Reiki energy boost. I feel much better and the swelling has gone down.

Today was a terrible day. I couldn't get in touch with Chris and was very worried. Our home phone has gone out.

Greetings from Florida!

I'm in Florida with Mum. She had carpal tunnel surgery on her right arm today and came through it fine. She's in bed with a pile of pillows to keep her arm up and still drowsy from the sedation. The clinic where she had this done has a battalion of nurses and they do A LOT of these surgeries, so I'm confident it will come out fine. She doesn't have her followup to remove the stitches until 10 days from now. I'll be here to help her through the first few days; I hope that it's enough to get her situated. Since she's right handed, she has a lot of trouble not using her right hand.

The flight out was REALLY CROWDED. The airport lines were unbelievable. I waited in line over 45 minutes to check a bag, and then the security line was about 20 minutes. I reached the gate just as they were paging me. Then, we sat on the runway for about 40 minutes while they fixed some mechanical problem... The fun of air travel: rush and wait, rush and wait... I was a good girl and did arm exercises on the plane to make sure I didn't get lymphatic swelling - since I had lymph nodes removed during my mastectomy I will be at risk for developing lymphedema in my arm for the rest of my life. Air travel can activate it. I already have a little lymphedema in my chest, which is what I have been seeing the therapist for. Unfortunately one cannot massage one's chest in the middle seat of an airplane, at least not easily or discretely. When I landed it was hurting a bit so I took a pain pill. I am running out, even though I don't take them very often. I have misplaced a prescription that Dr. Silva wrote for me, which is LAME, because doctors are so stingy with Hydrocodone. I am not in danger of getting addicted, but how do I explain a need for a new prescription?

I intend to go to the pool later today and enjoy a little swimming. I haven't decided if I will baptize my new prosthetic or leave it at home. I don't have a pocketed swimsuit, so maybe it wouldn't stay in place anyway. I'll have to experiment. Doesn't a hot tub and cool pool sound great?!

New Boob

I got a prosthesis today! After much adjusting and trying I discovered I'm a size 12 teardrop. I also got 3 bras. I drove to Becky's Mastectomy and Wigs in League City to get this done. $450+ later, I look normal. It has weight to it, being silicone so it doesn't ride up. Yay. I figured I needed to get it early enough so I could get used to it before school starts.

Chris and I drove over to Bolivar peninsula, where my new school is, on Friday. They have made a lot of progress with rebuilding, but it is still terribly sad to see the state of the area. Something like 3,000 houses JUST DISAPPEARED from the area - swept out to sea or torn up by the storm surge. Sad. It took a long time to get there and back, even if you don't account for the driving around we did. 2.5 hours or so. I must get a pass for the Ferry soon. I was promised a "priority pass" so that I don't have to wait in the line.

Tomorrow I'm going to Florida for a few days to help Mum out while she has carpal tunnel surgery. Becka provided the Southwest Voucher - thanks! I come back on Thursday night. I wanted to have at least one weekday before school starts to get my act together.

Never mind...

Turns out Patrick, my brother in law (the dentist) is overscheduled for the next couple of weeks. So never mind about the frequent flyer miles. I'll have to do it later.

Packed up all my belongings at school today. It only took about 3 hours.

Frequent flyer?

Today I start packing up my room at Weis. A very nice guy from the warehouse found me some boxes and will give me some tape AND may drive the stuff over to my new school on Friday! Daniel Sanchez, Thank you! You may guess that it's not even his job...

I have almost two weeks to go before I start work and want/need to go to El Paso for some dental work. Anybody have frequent flyer miles or vouchers they might be willing to donate? It can't hurt to ask. Since I had to wait 'til I had a job to even think about leaving, the prices are "last minute." On Southwest the price is over 400 bucks... It's still cheaper than having to stay and get this stuff taken care of here. Guess I'll have to suck it up. I will get to visit with my friends and family in El Paso!

It worked

The new letter to the superintendent worked! E-mailed her last night. Today I went to HR, to drop off more resumes and letters of intent. My intention was to hang out and annoy them until they gave me a job, and I didn't have to! I interviewed and was hired (yes, I signed papers and everything)for a 6-8 language Arts teaching job at Crenshaw, a K-8 school. It's located on the Bolivar peninsula and I'll have to ride the ferry to and fro each day. It's a new, nice building and sounds like a great working environment. Classes are small, 10 students or so... I am SO relieved!!! Papers have already been signed to continue my insurance and everything!

Thank you for the prayers and support!

Trying hard

So, the letter to the school board didn't go the way I would have liked. I was referred to the Director of HR and we met. She doesn't see the problem - "the policy is open to interpretation" -and assures me that there are positions open. YEAH right! So, I just finished writing a letter to the superintendent letting her know that I have nothing to lose and that I was hoping to give her and the board a chance to fix the problem before I went to the EEOC/ADA, lawyer and the public (newspaper and speaking publicly before the board meeting.) I will also go down there and spend the afternoon camping out - I'll annoy them into giving me a job.

Feeling physically OK. My chest is still a little sore and swollen but seems to be responding to the lymphatic massage that my therapist is doing. She also gives me exercises to strengthen and stretch. I see her twice a week for the next month. The cellulitis appears to have cleared up. I was cleaning the bunny area yesterday and made it really sore...

Didn't get cast in Virginia Woolf. The director was very complimentary to me though saying I gave a wonderful audition and could probably do the role with my eyes shut, she just went with an older couple and I should be grateful I'm still young. Nice words to hear. She hopes I'll be available to audition for the next show she directs...

I'm trying hard to stay positive. I've applied for a few jobs, some of which are over an hour's drive away. Many of them have been filled already...

This is it.

This is it. That's my new mantra. Life doesn't offer dress rehearsals - this is it. So, I have leaped in. Since I know the school board has to vote to approve any contracts. I was proactive. Since I don't want them to approve a contract for someone else in my job, I wrote a letter to the members of the school board explaining my situation and the illegal/unethical nature of what was going on. I explained that there are only two reasons why someone else would be placed in my job and they are both illegal; I have a meeting with the head of HR tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully they will do what is right -and what will keep them from being sued. I hate to have to go there, but I will.

I also went for a massage yesterday. I kept repeating my new mantra and was able to enjoy it. It is so easy to get bogged down in worrying and general ruminating. I tried my best to be totally present and was 90% successful. My therapist said that I was remarkably relaxed given the circumstances.

In the spirit of my new... spirit, I auditioned for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf last night. I don't believe I will be cast, but I did a great audition - the director called my reading "fabu." Don't get me wrong, I could play the hell out of that role (Martha), and will some day, but I wouldn't cast me at my current weight. I just really enjoyed flexing my acting muscles... I wore a wig and makeup; I also went with 2 boobs!

I went to a Women's Cancer support group meeting on Thursday. It was intimate and nice -3 of us in all. I met a woman who is involved with the Reach for Recovery program sponsored by the American Cancer Society. Later that night she dropped off a book, a video and a mastectomy bra for me! Very kind.

My chest hurts today. I woke up with some pain and took my Ibuprofen and a Hydrocodone. It feels HARD. I wish I could do the lymphatic massage on myself - not physically possible. My next physical therapy appointment is Thursday.

Bad, bad bad....bad

I was informed that my job has been "filled." After a few days of pure depression and self pity, I am now trying to use the anger I feel to get me moving. For the first time in my life I'm contemplating legal action. Because of a series of illegal and unethical things done by my former school district I don't have a job and school starts in 3 weeks. The likelihood of finding one is not good, either. What was done to me was unethical in the least and certainly, according to the ADA which covers cancer, illegal. Any of my friends/family know an employment lawyer?

Physically, I have been responding well to the lymphatic massage done to me by the physical/occupational therapist. Otherwise this job thing has hit me hard and I'm in full bore depression. Everything aches and I wish I could just go to sleep if not forever, for a very long time. No I'm not suicidal - I would never go there - but I FEEL LIKE CRAP. I also can't seem to stop crying. If I really thought that there had been a better candidate for my job from the RIF pool I'd be lots better, but that is not possible. All of this is compounded by the fact that conflict makes me physically ill...

Breathe. This too shall pass. I am alive. I am loved. I am an excellent teacher.

Lazy Sunday...

Today has been a lazy day. Nice.

Update on my physical state: Stomach in turmoil due to antibiotics. I've gotten to the "drinking Maalox" phase. Dr. Silva asked me to finish out the antibiotics, Bactrim and Clindomyacin, which I finish tomorrow. She'll follow up with me on Friday. There is a little improvement, the site is not so hot and angry looking. It doesn't hurt so much. Dr. Silva attributes the swelling in the middle of my chest to lymphatic fluid related to the infection. She says we'll keep an eye on it and to continue the Ibuprofen, which I take every 6-8 hours. I have a physical therapy appointment on Wednesday.

I was right about the pumanologist. I don't have asthma. They said that I should come see them every year to follow up since radiation does a number on the lungs, but unless I have problems... Thank you and goodbye.

My interview with Mr. Heuman, the new principal, went well. I found it interesting that the letter and resume I spent so much time on never got to him... I gave him an extra copy I had the foresight to bring with me. I like him, and think he'll be good for the school. When I left he said that he had a couple more people to interview and would be making a decision early this week. I cannot imagine -honestly- that anyone would be better for this/my job than me, but I am nervous because ANYTHING can happen. Please send a prayer and/or good energy my way.

Chris and I had a nice anniversary. We don't exchange gifts, never have, so it was funny when he kept presenting me with little things he picked up from around the house! I got a "happy anniversary flower" he had made out of Kleenex and a toilet paper roll... Happy anniversary mustard... Happy anniversary Gatorade lid... Happy anniversary dirty underwear... One of the things I love most about him is that he can make me laugh. We were able to spend the day together and went to dinner and saw the Harry Potter movie. It was great. It was very "romantical" when as we were leaving the Olive Garden, 'cause it was raining, we just sat on the bench holding hands, talking and enjoying watching and smelling the rain. Ah, the little things.

yuck

Feeling yucky today. The antibiotics are doing a number on my stomach. Yes, I've started yogurt... Yes, I try and eat a little something before I take them.

I have noticed some more swelling in the center of my chest. It seemed to have gone down, but has now reappeared. Dr. Hatch was concerned about it when I saw her last(weeks ago) and had pressed me to ask Dr. Silva about it when I saw her next - I got distracted by the cellulitis. Since I have an appointment with Dr. Silva tomorrow I'll make sure to ask her about it. I'll bet I need another CT scan... Chris is worried that it's cancer. I refuse to go there.

I have an appointment with the new principal at Weis/Central (my school) to interview for "my job" today at 2:00. This whole process just sucks. They'd be insane to hire anybody else, but I'll jump through the hoops and put on a positive attitude. I'll let you know how it goes.

Today at 3, I have a Pulmanologist appointment to follow up on the tests I took. I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a big waste of time, but I should/will go and have him tell me I don't have asthma.

My cell phone is doing weird things. It never rang when Mr. Heuman, the principal, called; just rolled to voice mail. He just called again and it gave a burpy kind of half ring and then said I missed the call! It was sitting right in front of me on this here desk! I have re-set it, but I can't have this kind of behaviour from my palm - I depend on it too much. I have calendar, to do list, contacts, web, phone, games, I use it for a little flashlight to take my meds at night (so I don't wake Chris) Don't know what I would do without it!!! Actually, the first couple weeks after the hurricane, I had accidentally left it in my classroom so I didn't have it, but EVERYTHING was in upheaval so I guess I just dealt. One of the first things Chris did when he got back on the island was to go to Central and get it. Thank goodness, because they locked the building up with no access shortly after they did the initial damage assessment. Nothing in my room was damaged, I was on the second floor.

I went and tried on prosthetics Tuesday. Weird experience. I have to go back because my insurance has to approve the purchase and the only place close by is "out of network." I'll describe my adventures for you later.

Marginally better in body and spirit

I like my grey hair. I had Chris buy me some dye on the day I got out of the hospital and have yet to use it. You see, it is in my medical records, in the notes, that Chris is my son. Amusing, the first couple of times. He has had other medical students ask him how his mother is. Now, he is only 5 years younger, so it's not possible. Also, at the height(really, low) of my treatment I looked about 60 - but still.

I applied for my job today. That was fun. You may remember that there was a Reduction In Force in my district and I was "impacted." Since my school was closed (thank you hurricane Ike) there is only one Theatre arts job and there were two of us sharing a room. Luckily Brandon has since taken a job elsewhere. The Director of Fine Arts says he wants to keep me... I guess I should put in some other applications at other local districts to hedge my bets.

I feel a bit better. I don't see much improvement in the appearance of my chest, but it hurts less and I'm not feeling so wiped out. I actually went out and ran a few errands today!

Home

I was released from the hospital Monday evening with an oral antibiotic! My IV site in my hand stopped working and they were unable to start a new one. Believe me they tried! My hand has been swollen and throbbing all week from where the IV blew my vein out. My chest is not really improving...

Today I went to the doctor and they are not seeing much improvement so they are starting me on an additional antibiotic. I haven't done much whining on here(or at all), but I am feeling very "beat down" today. I did a little crying in the doctor's office... There are so many good things in my life, I should get over myself.

One of those good things: Chris. We will have been married 15 years on the 18th. It seems like such a short time AND forever all at once.

Still in hospital

Chris got me wired up so I can log on here at the hospital - yay!

Doctors have agreed that I'm starting to respond to the antibiotic. In fact, they are increasing the dose today. We are starting to see some improvement.

I got real food this morning! Up till now, I was incorrectly marked down as a diabetic heart patient, so I got gross stuff with no spice or sauce. Who eats dry pasta with no spices, butter or sauce??? Styrofoam may actually taste better. This morning (yay) my eggs had onions and peppers in them AND I was given salt and sugar packets! Didn't even need the salt or sugar... Yummmm, actual food with food flavor!!!

Starting to get restless and needing some exercise, even if is just a walk. I'm trying to do some stretching... My room isn't big enough for much walking.

My IV, which has been in since Thursday is starting to itch. I am actually impressed that I made it so far, since I have allergy to adhesive (tape) and there really is no alternative in securing an IV. Today they will try to change it out and put new tape. I hope that it helps 'cause I could claw my arm off right now it itches so much.

Mum Notes

Hi! Mum here. Just spoke with Selena and she is in the hospital receiving IV antibiotics for at least two days. UTMB Medical Center pod 7D. The cellulitis was spreading and looked like a big bear clawed/smacked her on the chest. Hope and pray this takes care of it as she has had sooo much and is ready to be on her feet again.

Cellulitis Fun!

This past weekend I developed a bright red splotch over my mastectomy/radiation site. This looks like a sunburn or that I just got smacked. Saw Dr. Silva on Monday and she did a blood test to make sure I don't have problems with my white blood cell count. She said it was definitely cellulitis. She put me back on antibiotics and I will be seeing her again tomorrow to follow up. I don't appear to be getting better. It may, in fact,be spreading. We marked me today with a sharpie to see. Chris thinks she may admit me when I see her tomorrow... I hope not.

Looks like the Fiddler thing is not going to happen... Oh well.

Lori, Ashley and Emily are here. It is nice to have them here -they are good company. They are tearing out drywall. We're paying them to do it instead of someone else. The idea is that they can spend a little more on their upcoming NY vacation.

Summer changes..

Found out today that there is not "enough interest" in my summer camp. I'm not surprised, since it wasn't promoted, except by the flyers I made and handed out. They offered me some other work, but it is waaay too many hours for me and would commit me all the way to the 1st day of school.

Later in the day I got the opportunity to maybe do Golde in Fiddler for a theatre in El Campo. I've never been there either, but El Campo is where Chris' hotel room was during the evacuation. I think I may do it, especially since it is a last minute thing(they are already in rehearsal), only runs for two weeks (8 performances), they will pay me for gas and offered me a place to stay in a bed a breakfast during the run. It's not official yet, I still have to meet with the director...

Went today to have blood drawn in advance of my Dr. Markowitz appointment next week. I got turned away because of a lab request mix-up and have to go back tomorrow. I did have a nice drive and enjoyed listening to my new book "Finger Licken Fourteen."

Developing story

Went to the Pulmanologist to complete a test on Wednesday and decided to stop in and have them take a look at my seroma, which was filling again since having been unbound for 5 days. My doctor Dr. Silva is on vacation so I was stuck with some residents who didn't want to do anything. Finally, after I'd been in the office for almost 2 hours they called in another faculty doctor who drained me and had me wrapped...

On my way out of the garage elevator I ran into my principal, Mrs. Hebert who was having an ultrasound done on her breast - she had found a lump. Please send some prayers and karma her way. She will know more on Wednesday, I think. It doesn't sound good.

I also found out, because her son, Patrick Strong , friended me on Facebook, that Nell Strong died of breast cancer in 2006. This hit me hard, even though I haven't seen or had contact with Nell for years. She was the one who got me into teaching. When I was still at UTEP she got me a job running the after school program at El Paso Country Day School. Her son and daughter were in lots of shows at the Union Dinner Theatre, where Nell helped paint sets. When I became a full-time teacher Patrick was in my first class. Wow. I can't tell you how sad this news made me. For those who know him, Patrick is married with a very young son and living in Hollywood. He does licencing for films.

ER trip

Saturday night Chris and I went to our not-really -emergency room. It is really just a "clinic" until August 1. Anyway, yesterday I developed a fever, and since I don't have any other signs of infection (like a cold or flu) we think it must have to do with an infection around where the seroma catheter was removed on Friday. It's hard to tell if there is an infection there 'cause it's still red and hot from the radiation. The clinic/er doctor called the surgical resident and... I was sent home with a prescription for an antibiotic. Chris and I had really wanted to go and see this show that a few friends of mine were doing - oh well.

Started the taxes Saturday. Yes, I applied for an extension. It is a BIG undertaking with the cancer and the hurricane to account for.

Our bunnies have been fighting. If we left them together it might be to the death - they are going for blood! The bond that they built during the hurricane is definitely and inexplicably gone. Chris is very sad about it. We took them to the vet to have their wounds looked at and they were put on antibiotics. Chris is in the process of making a new, separate house for Haas. They can't live together anymore. The saddest part is that they are both elderly and now they don't have that companionship any more.

Anniversary

Today is the One Year Anniversary of my cancer diagnosis! Ahh, you ask, is this a day to celebrate? Yes. I am "clean." I made it through lots of unpleasant stuff and came out on the other side. I dealt with indignities large and small. I spent lots of money on myself - something I am not known to do. Hey, cancer is expensive, in more ways than one. I choose to celebrate.

I celebrate learning to ask for what I need.
I celebrate my friends and family who went above and beyond. I have felt loved.
I celebrate my life.
I celebrate my marriage. How could anyone make it through this without a Chris?

Anyway, as a celebratory treat, I am having a manicure and pedicure tomorrow! Yes, I finally have toenails again - they go almost all the way to the end of my toes!

Last day

Today was the last day of my teaching contract for this year. We had a nice luncheon that was very tearful - My principal is retiring (not really voluntary) My Assistant Principal has been reassigned and plenty of folks are not coming back. I am still in limbo. It's actually very odd, to have so much turmoil with the hurricane and lay-offs. When I first started at Central I was the only new teacher that year! Central teachers are really loyal, some having been there for 45 years! Since it is a school that serves/served the projects and mostly African American and Hispanic students, many of our teachers are there to give back... They grew up in the projects and went to Central. Anyway, it is sad that we still don't have our school back and that so many of the teachers and staff have been uprooted.

On my job: Brandon still hasn't resigned because he still hasn't signed the KIPP contract and well, you can't blame him. It just makes for some major uncertainty for me. I can't be "hired back" until his job is vacated. Everyone concerned is sure I'll be there next year, but I have no contract, yet. I left all my stuff in the office because I'm doing a summer camp there in July, and I figure I can move it later if there's a need. Boy, do I hope not!!!

Today went to see Dr. Silva to have my seroma drain removed and follow up on my mammogram. The mammogram is clear! She wants to keep the drain in until next Wednesday if possible, since it still works. Supposedly there is some issue with these drains clogging and kinking, most last only 2 days! I have been VERY CAREFUL with mine and it is still working after a week.

The Cast of Selena's Play

Here is the cast and two directors, Brandon and Selena, for

Gary Grinkle's Battle with Wrinkles and Other Troubles in Mudgeville.

The show was REALLY cute. I saw it twice. Those of you that know me know I would

not just say that to be nice. I have become to critical and too much of a

curmudgeon to give idol, fake compliments. Don't get me wrong, this show will never

win any awards, but it was cute and the kids had a good time doing it.

Brandon, her partner, did a fantastic job on the scenery and they both

did a great job on the props and direction. I was really proud of them.

Brandon has been Selena's guardian angel this year and I told him I am so thankful

for his kindness to Selena that it actually brought tears to my eyes.

I tend to get pretty emotional when it comes to my lovely Selena.

Selena and Dr. Silva

Here is a picture of Selena with her wonderfully kind Breast Surgeon, Dr. Coleen Silva.

She really is an angel and we love her dearly.

HP again

On Friday I went in and Dr. Silva put in a seroma catheter to drain the fluid I seem to build up continuously. I now have a Jackson Pratt drain, again. It was/is interesting.

That evening my students had a performance of our play, Gary Grinkle's Battle with Wrinkles and Other Troubles in Mudgeville. There was lots of drama! I guess that is the name of the game with middle school girls and has to be expected. We had a broken hand and lost a narrator among other exciting developments.

Today Chris and I went to the UTMB graduation. My nephew Jason became a M.D. today, as did a lot of Chris' friends. Chris was a part of this class and had to postpone graduation for me and the whole cancer thing... It was a nice ceremony and a number of us (family) were able to be there. Patrick took all 9 of us out to eat afterwards. It was nice to just sit and chat with Lauren, Patrick, Jason, Nate, Donna, Michael and Carolyn.

Que seroma sera

Lucky me. My seroma (fluid under my mastectomy scar) is building up again. I have an appointment with Dr. Silva on Friday AND this time she wants to put in a drain. She has been using a syringe each time, but this "drain" is an implanted thing that drains continuously. I guess it is kind of like the JP drains I had before. I'm not looking forward to that. I guess this is the solution, maybe it will finally heal the "pocket" closed.

My chest hurts. It has become a superficial pain, like a bad sunburn. Hard to wear anything. Nothing is soft enough.

Got in to Central (my closed due to hurricane school) and got my stuff today! Yay. It is hard to do one's job without one's tools. I now have my resource books, art supplies, and many of my pertinent files. I had to leave the costumes, puppet theatre, files with scripts... Hopefully I will get back in again at some point. Only 6.5 days of school left this year!

Funny Bunnies

Here, let me give you a kiss....

It is hard to believe that eight months ago the bunny on the right, Coinin, would have been biting the one on the left, Haas. This is the only good thing to have come from Hurricane Ike. The two bunnies finally bonded and are good friends.

Haas: I'm King of the World!!!

Coinin: Yeah, whatever, I can still bite your butt if I want to....

I don't think we ever wrote about the flood we had here about a month ago. We had about 6" of rain in an hour. Our street backed up with water in some places up to my knees. The water in the middle of our street was about one foot deep. My little white Honda Civic got 6-7" of water in it. It cost $250 to get it cleaned. Seats and carpet had to come out to keep it from molding under the carpet and inside the seats. It was a mess. It also caused all the window tinting to bubble up from the humidity and it had to be peeled off. I had to drive it without it being cleaned for two weeks. It smelled like a sewer. Which is, of course where the water came from. It was high tide when the storm hit. Luckily there was no water in our blue Honda CR-V.

Last day of Radiation Therapy

Here is Selena and her Radiation Therapists: Kwame (L) and Mary (R).

They were really kind to her.

Long Weekend!!!

I moved back in with Chris (you know, my husband?) last night! Yay.

Yesterday, went shopping for groceries. Boring, life stuff. Tried to hold off on the pain pills. I have been taking them every 6 hours, and the skin looks lots better, so I tried. Turns out I still need 'em. I had to take off the binding yesterday evening for a couple of hours 'cause I was so uncomfortable. I got Chris to bind me up before I went to sleep... My chest is reminding me that I need some more now!

My students' performances and "tour" have been rescheduled for this coming week and things are crazy at work. I FINALLY have an appointment to get in to Central (my old, now closed due to hurricane damage, school) to get my belongings on Tuesday. Yay. Too bad I was forced to teach without those things this whole time. I don't know how much I can get, but I only have a few hours and it took a couple of years to cart in everything!

This is getting old...

Called Dr. Silva and had my seroma drained again today. 121 cc's of fluid! I was then wrapped, again. Although it hurts I think I can stand it. Dr. Silva said that if it builds up again she may need to implant a drain. I will do my best to keep pressure on it and hope that it finally heals the way it is supposed to. She gave me a prescription for more pain pills AND a script for some topical cream that may make it so I don't need to take the pain pills so often. I like the idea of that.

Chris is slowly getting better.

We had a rehearsal after school for the play my kids are doing, Gary Grinkle's Battle with Wrinkles and other Troubles in Mudgeville, and half the cast was missing! We are touring it to three elementary schools on Thursday and then performing for our school on Friday. It is AMAZING how diva-esque some of these kids have become.

Weekend? What weekend?

As is usual for us lately, Chris and I have slept the weekend away. He's sick (getting better) and I'm sick (getting better) but it equals lots of sleeping. It is said that one's body heals during sleep... Since I moved into the other room to avoid getting whatever he's got, I've seen him about 3 times this weekend... We did watch some TV together last night, and I can swear that it was him who waved at me from the doorway late this morning. Hopefully we can move in together soon...

Skin is getting better, but since I haven't been binding, I'm building up the seroma again. I'll have to call Dr. Silva on Monday. She has been great about squeezing me in to her schedule for a quick draining. I think my skin may be able to take being bound again afterwards.

13 days left of school, and I still don't officially have a job for next year yet. I was called to a meeting to discuss scheduling for next year, so I anticipate being there. It is just not confirmed, which makes me a little stressed.

He's home!

Chris was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday afternoon. He is at home now. The cough and trouble breathing are still problems, but he is MUCH better.

My chest is getting better. The skin is less raw, although it looks hideous - all blotchy, crusty, and red. It also hurts less. I still haven't been able to wear binding or prosthesis and have been taking my Ibuprofen and narco regularly. I have been dressing in "flowy tops" and hoping that nobody notices... I don't want to freak the kids at school out.

Update to the update..

Chris is doing better. They still want to keep him, so he'll be in the hospital again tonight. He actually asked for something to read, that shows how much better he feels. I have got to go back to work tomorrow, so I'll just have to have him call me.

Bless Brandon Dinklage, my teaching partner(heck, he does all the work), for holding down the fort

Chris status update.

Chris is feeling better. When I left him he was doing pretty well. I anticipate him coming home tomorrow.

He had gone to Urgent care on Saturday, feeling like he had the flu. They diagnosed him with an upper respiratory infection and sent him home. I thought it was odd.. no meds?

All day Sunday he had high temperatures. Despite taking acetaminophen on a regular schedule, his temp was not going down. I talked to Mum and she suggested strongly that I take him in to be seen again. He was dehydrated, his temperature had come down to 101.5, he had a bad headache and muscle aches, and he was delirious. They admitted him. He was placed in ICU because that was the only bed available - not 'cause he was that sick. They have repeatedly tested him for Flu and he has come back negative each time. He has been receiving Levaquin (antibiotic) and fluids intravenously. The xrayed him and saw pneumonia. He is also nauseous and coughing productively.

Today he started to feel better. He still has a headache, but his pain level is less. He is more alert and communicative. A regular room became available and he was moved. Yes, I have been wearing a mask, to lessen the chances of my getting whatever it is he has.

I am doing OK. I have been wearing my softest tank tops, with no prosthesis or binding. The skin around my site is red, inflamed and scary looking. Yes, it hurts. I have been on regular schedule of ibuprofen, hydrocodone, and sunburn spray with something-cane. Taking a shower is a really special feeling... I will try and contact my doc tomorrow so she can follow me. I REALLY don't need to develop an infection.

MUM notes:update

Just a brief note to tell you that Chris is in the hospital with pneumonia, and no they don't think it is swine flu although he has a high fever and severe cough, diarrhea and nausea. He was admitted last night and is being transferred from ICU to a regular room today. Selena is at his side so I thought I'd put in a brief note from Florida. D

Report on last week.

I had a PFT (pulmonary function test) on Thursday and it has been determined that I do not have "standard asthma." They wanted the lab to do another test where they make me cough, but the orders got messed up. I will have to reschedule the cough test. To recap: I have frequent lung infections, you could call it chronic bronchitis, and now that they have ruled out cancer, and standard asthma, they want to see if I have "cough induced asthma" (at least I think that's what the doctor called it.)

I also saw the occupational therapist this week and she says my range of motion is normal - that's good! She wants to massage my arm (to help with the healing/numbness) and my site to prevent hardening. She really can't do much with my site because of the condition of my skin. I did some exercises and she massaged my arm. She also gave me a new foam pad to put under my binding, the idea being to put more pressure and keep the seroma from building up. It doesn't seem to put as much pressure in the right place as the foam "prosthetic" I've been using... Anyway, I can't bind right now because of the skin issues. I guess I'll just have to keep an eye on the seroma.

Thanks to my husband, Chris, for the special trip he made to buy me sunburn spray. He has the flu, and was starting to feel really crummy... Yes, he should not have gone out. No, It's not Swine flu. It has since gotten worse. I have moved into my Mum's room so I have less chance of catching it. Because I am so hopped up on pain meds, Michael, my wonderful brother in law, drove a 3 hour round trip to take Chris to the Urgent Care clinic (that's how we know it's not swine flu)- thank you!!!!

What a day!

Today was a big day.

• Went out to eat after my show with some friends/coworkers. This is big because I really haven't cultivated many friends here in Galveston, so I'd say that this was a first in over a year.
• My students' one act: Gary Grinkle's Battle with Wrinkles and other Troubles in Mudgeville performed this evening. They got most of the lines, and people could hear part of it... The important thing is it was done. The kids had fun.
• I had to take off my "saran wrap" on my site because I took a shower and it filled up with water. In taking it off I also took off two large patches of skin. Figuring out how to dress the wounds so I could go to school was interesting, and took a while. Yes, it hurts like...well, like someone just ripped off two large patches of skin! I ended up missing the whole morning. If we hadn't had a show today, I would have called in sick.
• The air conditioning is out in the house and it's 88 degrees in here!
• I had a migraine this morning and had to take some headache drugs for the first time in months. Remarkable how few migraines I have now that I'm not menstruating.
• Chris is getting sick. We hope it is just a cold and not the swine flu.

Draining day...

The day was "draining" in more than one way.

Brandon, the Weiss teacher I share my/his classroom with, took the day to shop for our show. His 6th graders were riled up! It's Monday, they just finished TAKS and their teacher is not there. Any kind of change makes them crazy. THEN I had to find someone to cover my class 'cause I had to go get my seroma drained. THEN a number of our cast members didn't show for rehearsal, and we open on Friday.

Health wise: Dr. Silva drained 55cc's from my seroma. She hopes that now that radiation is over it will heal and stop building fluid. It was also - and this may be too much information- red. She said that perhaps since the seroma is smaller, she "nicked" the chest wall with the needle and that caused a little bleeding. Terri, the nurse, tried this fancy stuff that is like medical saran wrap to place over my burn. It seems to help. We also put a little numbing cream on it before she "saran wrapped" me. Anyway, I am bound again, to put pressure on the seroma and try and get the "flap" to heal down. Right now it doesn't hurt so much, so maybe the plastic wrap is a good idea. Terri sent me home with extra, so I can replace it. Supposedly the magic number is 10. The skin/burn issues should resolve within 10 days after completing radiation. I wanted a topical solution to the pain because I am just tired of taking pain meds... So I put the ointment on and then was plasticised. This means that for the few days I leave this sheet on, any ointment won't work. So I'm back to the narco. Dr. Silva also wants me to start back on the 800mg Ibuprophen.

So I'm done...mostly

Had the last radiation treatment on Thursday. Now I'm a graduate. It was weird that I'm lying on the table, Kwame and Mary (the technicians) watch on camera from another room, and I start crying. I can't figure out exactly why, and I'm not embarrassed so I just go with it. I have only had 3 crying spells over this adventure and this was one... I figure I should , pun intended, flow with it. I am entitled, I know. So I snap a picture with Kwame and Mary and the machine, red eyes and all and leave. The cute little old Hispanic lady at the parking garage - I had chatted with her every day - was concerned and wouldn't raise the arm until she gave me some words of reassurance. It was cute 'cause she doesn't really speak English well, and I never let on that I speak Spanish, but I cried the whole time. Why exactly? Relief? Sadness? Loss? Self pity? Sense of achievement? Success? Frustration? Hormones? Stress? Stress relief? I could go on... Don't know.

On Friday I had a bit of good news: Brandon Dinklage, the teacher with whom I am sharing a room, and who didn't get RIFd, has accepted a job elsewhere. Now, I have not been officially un-RIFd, but the Director of Fine Arts told Brandon to tell me... Looks as though I have employment for next year! I'll have to press for "official" this week.

This coming week we have a big one. The Central/Weis theatre departments are doing Gary Grinkle's Battle with Wrinkles and other Troubles in Mudgeville at the GISD Fine Arts GALA on Friday. Our Cinco de Mayo celebration is on Tuesday and despite having put together a team and explained that I had no time to do this, I think tomorrow I'll be putting together a last minute show. I also have occupational therapy on the 6th and pulmanology tests and consult on the 7th... I am still sooooooooo tired all the time and crash as soon as I get home, so lets see how it goes. Here is my mindset: I'll do what I can do and try not to stress. There are other people who can pick up the slack this time.

Tomorrow is the LAST ONE

The last radiation treatment is tomorrow!!!! Whoo hoo!!! I think I'll celebrate by rushing back to school to administer a TAKS test.... tomorrow is science.

Saturday

Woke up early this morning. Funny how used to getting up at 5:30 you can become. I made coffee and biscuits, petted some bunnies, watched some news, and played around on Facebook. It is probably for the best that I didn't start messing around on Facebook until recently, except that it would have kept me more in contact while I was in Florida for my Chemo... I love how I can quickly check in with people I haven't seen for years, but still think of fondly.

Today I'm feeling pretty good! Had to take off the binding (yes, I'm still binding my chest) last night because it hurt. I think it slides around when I sleep... I have yet to put it back on. I'm doing exercises that my Occupational Therapist gave me AND she recommends that I massage my surgical site. So I'll leave it off for a while and do some of that. Story is: if you don't massage the radiation/surgical site, it can harden. Since the radiation already weakens the bones (ribs) if your scar gets hard, it increases risk of broken ribs from a slight bump! This is my new " cancer fact of the week." Funny how every step brings something new...

I ordered a new "stunt boob." It is weighted so it doesn't ride up to my neck like the old one, which likes to "crawl around." However, it is a little too firm for the sports bra that I am able to wear right now. When I put it on it made me look like I lost the other boob... the real thing is just squishier... I have to look into the return policy. I do have a prescription to get professionally fitted for a prosthetic, but it was suggested that I wait until 6 weeks after radiation so that any swelling will have resolved. I still haven't decided whether to continue life in my "amazonian lopsidedness" or go for reconstruction. I guess it depends on how life with a prosthetic goes. I was always jealous of flat-chested women... ironic?

I have a summer 'gig' doing a summer theatre camp for the school district. I'm really excited about this for a couple of reasons: 1. cash 2. it's about putting a show together with kids about IKE. I'll have about 8 weeks with a group of 5th and 6th graders. I anticipate this being a really fun, cathartic, creative project! Now that the "I've Been IKEd" project is lined up, I have to find a job for next school year...

I've also made the decision to attend the Houston Co-op Auditions this year. I weaseled/chickened out for the last few years. I'm going to make myself do it this year. I have to remember that the audition is not a commitment!!! I wonder if I can get away with using my old head shots... Recently, a director I respect disagreed with me when I said that I didn't think I looked like my headshots anymore. This was before the cancer though, so maybe I'll slap on a wig and some makup and just go with the old shots.

Today was...

I have 4 more Radiation treatments left!!! The "site" is red and angry, but not blistered, yet. I have a matching square of "sunburn" on my back...

Today was all about the doctors. 7:30 - Radiation. 9:20 - Saw the Physician Assistant at my regular doctor to get a allergy medicine refill. 10:30 - CT scan to rule out cancer in my lungs.

The CT scan was the best and worst part of the day. First, the elevator was broken in the parking garage and I had to park on the 3rd floor. My fatigue is, and continues to get, pretty awful. By the time I got to the office, I was dizzy and tired. Second, they pumped "contrast" into me and that made me queasy, on top of the dizzy and tired. I had to sit for a few minutes before I could walk. Then, on the way back to the car (elevator was now working!!!) two strangers expressed concern for me "Are you okay?" "you look tired" in separate incidents. That was kind of them, but it really made me feel worse. I was trying to convince myself that I felt well enough to go in to work and they added points to the "no, go home and rest" side of the argument. Had to sit in the car for a few minutes until I felt ready to drive! That decided it. Interestingly enough I had forgotten my cell at work and I don't have the new Central number memorized. How to call in and tell them I wouldn't be there? My husband to the rescue. I called Chris and he took care of it. He's my knight- no armor, just a slightly wrinkled shirt. I took some drugs: anti nausea, Narco, saltine crackers (not a drug?) and went to bed. Today, I just couldn't pretend to not be sick. I HATE that.

When Chris got home from school - he's doing a rotation in Internal Medicine - he woke me with the good news. The radiologist report said that there is no sign of cancer in my lungs!!! Time for the "happy dance! " Let me repeat, just because of the way it sounds. There is no sign of cancer in my lungs!!! They found some calcifications (due to the bronchitis etc...) and some scarring (due to the radiation) but no evidence or suspicion of cancer!!!!! I just hope that when the pulmanologist reads the films he comes to the same conclusion... I see the pulmanologist next week.

Thanks again for the prayers, good vibes and positive energy sent my way. I am getting closer...the end is in sight...

TGIF

Finally got to see Dr. Hatch on Wednesday. See the previous post to get the details on that saga... She was concerned about my having gone to the pulmanologist and was concerned about my fatigue. It looks like I'm one of those people on the wrong end of the bell curve for fatigue with radiation. In fact, I couldn't make it to treatment on Tuesday because I was so tired and didn't feel safe to drive. Luckily I have only 8 more left, because it is starting to compound. Dr. Hatch said that it is cumulative, so I'll probably get even more tired and my skin will get more raw before it's over.

Disappointing news of the week: The pulmanologist's report, which Chris has access to as a med student, indicates that the reason they want to follow me up is that they suspect (I prefer to think of it as "rule out") cancer in my lungs. Turns out that when a pulmanologist reads the CT scan I had a few months ago, they see something that nobody else saw. I'm trying not to get freaked. My cough HAS RESOLVED so that would indicate good things... I have another CT scan on Thursday, so we'll see. The pulmanologist said that because the previous CT was done while I had the cough, that it could "very well turn out to be focal pneumonia, which has since resolved." Send good vibes and prayers my way, please.

Went to a Job fair especially for teachers from Galveston who were impacted by the "reduction in force" and it was odd that everyone I talked to asked me to apply on-line. I did get asked for a few resumes, but still. What exactly was the point of the fair? I guess this weekend is all about rest and on-line applications.

Today was...OK

Went for radiation this morning and was supposed to see Dr. Hatch afterwards. In walks the "other doctor" from last week!!! Background: I am supposed to see Dr. Hatch every Monday and was supposed to see her the day I started as well - a Wednesday. Four (4) times in all so far! Each time it was a new doctor. Weeelll, last time I let the new doctor know how frustrated I was about this. It went something like this: "I'm sure you are a good doctor and a nice person, BUT I chose to drive 3 hours each day so I could be treated by doctor Hatch NOT a rotating cast of doctors." The short of it- today, in walks last week's new doctor (the one who got the venting) sees the look on my face and says "Guess who will be back on Wednesday?" And wants to know if I would rather wait until Wednesday to see her? My answer was not "DUH", but that was the subtext...

This afternoon went for Occupational Therapy. I didn't get lost on the way, so I had a half hour to sit in the car and listen to my book. I'm finally "reading" New Moon. Anyway, can't say that therapy was fun, exactly, but it seems to be doing some good. My range of motion is better from using the stretching exercises she taught me last time and she gave my arm/shoulder a good workout and massage. The idea is to stretch my skin and muscles so I don't lose mobility. Not the usual "feel good" massage but I know it's good for me. I see her again next Monday.

Another week down...

I've made it through another week of Radiation Therapy! I have started to see the side-effects on my skin. There is a square area of "sunburn" around where my right breast used to be. Surprisingly, there is a lighter, matching square on my back! And who doesn't enjoy a good sunburn? I have 12 more treatments... counting down. This treatment makes me tired. Very tired.

Had to go yesterday and have my seroma (build-up of fluid) drained again. 38 cc's this time. The doctor says that it probably will continue to build up again because the healing of the surgical site is slowed by the radiation.

The abdominal wound from the hysterectomy is almost healed and I don't even have to put a bandaid on it anymore. Dr. Arristea did a pelvic exam and said that I'm healing up really well and "can resume relations." I took that to mean that I am dismissed from her care. She gave me a big hug. I LOVE her!!!

I was referred to a pumanologist (breathing doctor) during my last bout of bronchitis. If you will recall it lasted about 3 months... Anyway, finally saw her. She wants to do some testing on me and follow me -turns out my history in this area is not normal.

This weekend is all about resting, laundry, and putting my resume together to find a job for next year. I'm also trying to figure out a way to get to Wichita for the May 30th anniversary of the Horners. Southwest doesn't go there!! It is their 50th! Mavis and Jerry are family, even though we are not actually related. I was raised with their kids.