This is it.

This is it. That's my new mantra. Life doesn't offer dress rehearsals - this is it. So, I have leaped in. Since I know the school board has to vote to approve any contracts. I was proactive. Since I don't want them to approve a contract for someone else in my job, I wrote a letter to the members of the school board explaining my situation and the illegal/unethical nature of what was going on. I explained that there are only two reasons why someone else would be placed in my job and they are both illegal; I have a meeting with the head of HR tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully they will do what is right -and what will keep them from being sued. I hate to have to go there, but I will.

I also went for a massage yesterday. I kept repeating my new mantra and was able to enjoy it. It is so easy to get bogged down in worrying and general ruminating. I tried my best to be totally present and was 90% successful. My therapist said that I was remarkably relaxed given the circumstances.

In the spirit of my new... spirit, I auditioned for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf last night. I don't believe I will be cast, but I did a great audition - the director called my reading "fabu." Don't get me wrong, I could play the hell out of that role (Martha), and will some day, but I wouldn't cast me at my current weight. I just really enjoyed flexing my acting muscles... I wore a wig and makeup; I also went with 2 boobs!

I went to a Women's Cancer support group meeting on Thursday. It was intimate and nice -3 of us in all. I met a woman who is involved with the Reach for Recovery program sponsored by the American Cancer Society. Later that night she dropped off a book, a video and a mastectomy bra for me! Very kind.

My chest hurts today. I woke up with some pain and took my Ibuprofen and a Hydrocodone. It feels HARD. I wish I could do the lymphatic massage on myself - not physically possible. My next physical therapy appointment is Thursday.