Saturday, July 5, 2008

No chemo for you...

I haven’t felt much like writing – sorry. Here’s the deal. Wednesday we (Chris, mom and I) went to Dr. Markowitz (oncologist). I had an appointment at 1:00 for labs – they take blood every time to make sure you are healthy enough for what they are planning on doing. I still had/have my cough from hell, so I asked for a mask to wear while I was there. An amazing lab tech named Ms. Guy took my blood, and I tell ya, she has magic hands. I was very complimentary (OK, I gushed) because I have been “stuck” pretty regularly lately and this time I didn’t even feel a prick! So when she pointed out her supervisor, I took a minute to let the supervisor know how good she is. I don’t think I can request her for future labs, but I’ll try! Later, Cindy (Markowitz’s nurse/practitioner) came in and examined me. My breasts are a little tender for her. She seemed concerned and a little surprised at the fact that when she palpated me it hurt. Neither Chris nor I liked that, it worries us. This is one reason we want to start chemo ASAP. I told her of the appointment with the Dr. about the cough and possibility that it could be Pertussis. When Dr. Markowitz came in the room he wouldn’t come near me, even though I had a mask on. We talked about the “plan of attack” AND the fact that I’m not well enough to start right away. I am to continue taking my meds and if I have lost the cough by next Wednesday...

If I am well enough we start next Wednesday, July 9. He is going to start me on Chemotherapy every other week for 8 weeks. This is how it tentatively maps out: I will go in on Wednesday at 12:00 for labs. At 1:00 I see Dr. Markowitz. If he thinks I am ready, I will have chemo Thursday. Friday, I return for a shot of the stuff you see advertised on TV that is supposed to boost my white blood cells so I can do it all again in two weeks.

Of concern: It looks like surgery won’t be even considered until October/November.

Mom cut off my hair on Thursday – it is VERY short and dykey/spiky. I gotta tell you it is much cooler, I have been wearing it in a ponytail constantly. We are planning on going to this Look Good/Feel Better thing on Wednesday morning (Mom and I) which is held by the American Cancer Society. It’s a support and makeover class where they give out tips, makeup, wigs etc.. to cancer gals like me. I have been told I will lose my hair. Those of you who know me – isn’t that all of you? – know how not vain I am, at least about my hair. I am not even sure if I’ll wear a wig. I just want the option. Maybe I’ll get a few! Different colors, lengths, styles. Since I have been working at Central Middle School where I work with a lot of African Americans, I think my attitude toward hair has changed. Many of my students and/or coworkers change their hair so often with extensions, wigs and whatever, you don’t know what you are going to see day to day. I figure I can mix it up too! Whim of the day – hat, short hair, scarf, long hair, fake tattoo, big earrings... Maybe I’ll become “that weird hat/hair lady.” Since I have such a big head – hey no comments – I figured I better cut my hair off before trying to fit a wig. In the past, when I wore wigs in various shows, I have always had a hard time squeezing into and keeping wigs on my head. I’ve never been bald underneath, so this might be a whole new world, and there’s a first time for everything! I am also a bit concerned that I have a weirdly bumpy head (hey, I'm a mutant, I accept it) and should have a wig for backup. I'm gonna start collecting cool and unusual scarves… If you feel inspired to send me something, I'm told silk is NOT GOOD 'cause it just slides off a bald head.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi Selena,

Heard from Chris on Facebook recently and he told me about you and this blog.

Honey, first - I miss you guys and my heart is pouring out to you with this recent news. I miss you guys and you have been on my mind a lot, even if we haven't talked in awhile. I think this blog is GREAT. Not only do I appreciate reading about your journey, and hearing how you guys are, but it is hopefully helping you cope most importantly.

Yes, play with the hair thing!! Have some fun, make the best of it. Why the hell not?? I think you could get some cool biker chick bandanas (skull/crossbones, Jack Daniels...lol!) for those "grrrr I need to be tough" days, and then some pastels or colorful African ones when you feel or want to feel vibrant.

I am sure you have heard this from many people, but I have 2 friend who went through this in their late 20s-early 30s and are thriving now in their late 30s. One even had a mastectomy on 1 breast, then a few years ago had the 2nd one taken off. She has had full reconstruction and it doing great. So for what its worth, look to those stories for inspiration to help you through. I am glad you have such a supportive (and medically connected!!) husband and loving family.

I may be far away, but I am here for you guys and thinking of you both. Feel free to email me at klhrabosky@gmail.com. Not sure I have your current email or phone number these days. Would you send it to me?

Much love and hugs to you and Chris!

-Kara

Lopi said...

Hey Selena!

Just got the email from Greg and read your blog.

Danny and I were just thinking about you two earlier this summer. All our love and positive energy from my entire family is being sent your way. If you need anything from El Paso, let us know. We can be on the next flight.

Thanks for the blog. I hope it helps you as much as it does the rest of us who are so far away!

We're here for you!!

XOXO to you and Chris and the bunnies.

Lisa and Danny

Patriciap said...

Hi Selena,

Greg sent us the e-mail and I just finished reading your blog (up to now).

I am so sorry you have to go through this.
Frank and I miss you and Chris and you are in all my prayers from here on end to ...

Despite all of this, you have somehow managed to have a sense of humor about it all. What else can you do?

I hope the blog is a help to you--at the very least, we can stay connected with what your going through and send you good thoughts, prayers and karma right back to you as you take this on.

love to you, Chris and your bunnies,


Pat and Frank
Love to you, Chris and your bunnies