Another day...

This was a pretty good day. I made it through 2 hours of an 8 hour in-service training. It was interesting, I wish I could have stayed. Mum went with me and I wore a scarf as to not advertise the cancer - hey, not everything is about me or should be. Came home and ate some leftovers from the meal Cindy(a neighbor) made for us. Yes, before I crashed. Told you it was a good day! She had treated us to some homemade spinach mannicotti, corn on the cob and an awesome jello salad. I'm having some jello salad right now with ice cream - takes me back to kid-hood. It's soul food. Told you it was a good day! I don't have much of an appetite these days so I must brag on the good stuff.

Feeling really bushed. In the last 2 days I did manage a walk on the beach and to watch Bewitched(cute, mindless), some shark week stuff and talk on the phone to Becky (formerly Horner - might as well be a cousin), Becka, my sister, and Jade my neice(and her doll Elizabeth who has a broken leg-yes she talks!). Becka lives in LA and said that the earthquake shook her car side to side while she was in it but otherwise was a non event. Phew!

Walk on the Beach

Selena and I enjoyed a nice walk on the beach this evening. The weather was beautiful and the water felt good on our feet.

New day, new doctor

Went to the doctor again today, Chris and I are both worried about my agitation and never-ending cough. I saw yet another doctor, although he was great. I’m going to try and work my way through everyone who works there… kidding. This guy is in charge of the residents in Family Medicine and Chris would like to work for him someday; he certainly was kind. Anyway I got a prescription for Clonepin (anti anxiety drug) a refill on my cough syrup and a referral for an echocardiogram. The echocardiogram is on Friday. We just want to make sure that this cough (and yes, it has changed) is not related to a side effect from the chemo where it damages your heart.

Mum went to a UTMB (University of Texas Medical Branch) job fair today and was much in demand. She got 2 job offers and a lot of interest from an agency. Daily she gets closer to moving here… I’m glad she was such a hot commodity – I’m sure her ego can stand it!

I’ve been trying to entertain myself – something I am terrible at. I have a couple of books started that I can’t sit still long enough to read and a bunch of small tasks that should keep me busy but don’t motivate. Wish I was a “crafty person”

Went out a few times this weekend, Target, Hobby Lobby etc… I actually broke down and rode in the scooter at Target! I hate to admit, but it sure made the shopping easier and we were able to stay long enough to get almost everything we wanted instead of going home after I ran out of oomph.

Health wise, I’ve been queasy and having to take my anti nausea meds a bit more often. I’m tired. Weird feeling. I’m tired but I can’t sit still and the meds make me unable to concentrate on much, at least not enough to distract myself. I'm starting to get on my own nerves.

This Thursday, I am supposed to go to a teacher in-service from 9-4. Can I make it? If walking down two aisles at Walgreen's requires a post trip nap, I don't know how much of the day I'll be able to manage. my plan of attack is to stake out a chair and try to move as little as possible. Any wagering???

Restless Weekend....

It has been a restless weekend for Selena. The chemo drugs make her REALLY anxious and agitated. Her body is EXTREMELY tired but her mind is racing. You may remember a week or so ago we were talking about how she just can't get comfortable no matter what she does. It has gotten much worse. She goes back and forth between the bed and her new chair (which is FABULOUS) and the bathroom (for her coughing fits that seem to be worse this weekend).

On Saturday I called the resident doctor on call for Dr. Markowitz. To be honest, this guy didn't seem like the brightest bulb in the chandelier. I'm sure he is smart and all that, but he just seemed unable to grasp the concept of being agitated and anxious. Finally after explaining it to him about 3 times I put Selena on the phone. His dumb solution originally was to go see our family care doc on Monday about this because it couldn't be the chemo. I said "No, it is the chemo, she is not like this when she is not on Chemo." I also told him that I had given her some of my clonazepam (it is an anxiolytic med, anxyolytic means anti-anxiety) and that helped and he agreed to call in a few pills for the weekend. I am going to be calling Dr. Markowitz about this in a few hours because I think the yo-yo was being lazy and didn't want to call in anything to help her. I am sorry, but I am not going to sit by and let Selena suffer an entire weekend because this guy is a wussy.

The medication is helping Selena to relax some, but she is still having great difficulty and also feeling nauseous a lot too.

Michael, my brother, and Donna, my sister-in-law came down from Houston today, Sunday, and they met up with Michael's friend Mike Murphy. Murphy was Michael's best-man at his wedding. He was in town visiting from Indiana. They came over and Mum made wonderful hamburgers and salad. We then played this really great card game that Michael invented about the old-west. It was a lot of fun and I was really impressed with Michael's creativity. The cards he had made were gorgeous. I thought he had them made for him, but he had printed them himself. The game is kind of hard to explain, but it was very easy to play and lots of fun. I wish they lived closer so we could see them more often.

After they left, Selena curled up in the Chair of Comfort and we watched The Simpson's Movie. It was fun.

I am pretty excited about this week because it is SHARK WEEK on the Discovery Channel. I LOVE SHARK WEEK!!!!

It's pretty late and I am going to go to bed. I have been sitting up watching over Selena's restlessness and doing a little typing for Mum on the computer.

Thanks for reading...

Selena's New Chair

POSTED BY CHRIS

(You will also note that from now on my posts have my name down at the bottom of the posting.)

Selena's new comfy post-chemo chair arrived tonight at 9:15 PM. It is REALLY comfortable and is going to be a blessing in the next few days as the neulasta starts to cause her really bad bone aches. Her brother, Steve, bought it for her. We can't thank him enough for this really, really kind present.

Neulasta day

Yesterday Chris shaved most of my head. My hair started falling out and I decided that it was time. We went for a Mohawk -just because. Today we went to pure bald. It feels creepy and my head is cold.

Yesterday was Chemo #2 and I tolerated it alright although I am a bit nauseous and was yesterday as well. Luckily, the anti nausea meds work well. If the oral doesn't work, they gave me suppositories! Joy. Found out that they don't order the meds from the pharmacy until you show up! Cancer is all about waiting.

Today went to get the neulasta shot and only had to wait 45 minutes. This is good. Then Mom and I went to Big Lots where I found and bought "Bald Guyz" cream for my head - who knew they made sucha thing? Bought a bunch of other crap and then on to Sally's Beauty supply. We were in the market for wig stuff. I got some heads, shampoo and conditioner etc... I also got a temporary tattoo to put on the back of my head!

Came home tired, ate, shaved off the hawk and took a nap. BTW my mom makes an AWESOME burger. We are waiting right now for chair delivery!!!

QUICK NOTE

QUICK NOTE FROM CHRIS

Selena just finished her second chemotherapy treatment. She took it very well with no reactions during infusion. Thank God.

Chemo takes a long time. We were there almost 4 hours. We arrived at 11:50 AM and left a little before 4:00 PM. We found out that they don't even order the medicine until you are checked in by the nurse and cleared for chemo for that day. The reason they wait is because if a patient does not show up or shows up sick the medication would be wasted. Her treatment is about $4000 a session. There are some chemo treatments that run $30,000 a treatment! That would be a big waste of money that either the patient or UTMB would have to pay for. No one can afford that kind of waste.

After the patient is cleared, it takes at least an hour and many times more than an hour to get the medicine from the main pharmacy at the hospital. We go to an outpatient facility called the Infusion Center which is not connected to the hospital so a drug runner has to bring it over to the facility. Most of the time the drug runners are from Columbia, Guatamala or El Salvador. The nurses refer to them as 'mules.'

 (Just kidding. They are pharmacy assistants.)

Selena is in bed right now. The 'chemo fog' is setting in. I will post more later this evening. I need to go pick up some medicine and do some grocery shopping. Mum is going to watch over her diligently to make sure she drinks a lot of fluids so she doesn't 'burn' her bladder with the Cyclophosphomide and Doxarubicin.

Chris

WIGS, CHEMO DOCTOR AND LOSING HAIR

POST BY CHRIS

I have been asked by Selena to do a couple of days worth of blogging.

First of all, Selena has been feeling good the last two days. She's had a fair amount of energy and even has a little color in her cheeks and eyes. It is amazing how the chemo saps the life out her face.

Secondly, we are very thankful to God for giving us the rain from Hurricane Dolly without it giving us a direct hit. We hope that everyone in Corpus Christi, TX is OK but we REALLY need the rain.

WIGS

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008

We drove to Houston, near the Galleria, which would have been about an hours drive, but the rain from the outer bands of Hurricane Dolly and a navigation error put us seriously behind schedule. We went to the American Cancer Society headquarters in Houston. They are a very kind organization and offered to let Selena have a wig. We got there about 20 minutes before they closed (3:40 PM) but the lady that saw us, Theresa Garza, was VERY nice and stayed until almost 4:30 PM making sure Selena was happy with the wigs she picked out. Theresa is a certified wig fitter and helped Selena pick two wigs instead of one. Selena really liked two of them a lot so Theresa said that she could have both. She also let her have a nice little 'cancer' hat. She gave us lots of literature and gave Selena a big hug and made her feel very special. They are good people.

After the wig fitting (pictures to come later) we drove back home in a real downpour and slow 5 o'clock Houston traffic. No accidents thank God. We stopped at the Sketcher Outlet Store and a Honduran restaurant, Las Hamacas. The restaurant's air conditioning was out and it was miserably hot, but Selena and mum really wanted to go so we stayed. (Selena's mom is called mum. I am not sure why, maybe it's a Canadian thing.) The food was very similar to Panamanian food so they were in heaven. I enjoyed the food as well, but it's not too hard to please me. That's probably why I weigh as much as do. 

The food is rice, beans with chicken, pork or beef. The plates are served with plantains and little salads. It's not spicey, just really tasty.

Mum bought some Tres Leches Cake and Flan at a Pastry Shop and had some when we got home.

CHEMO DOCTOR

WEDNESDAY, JULY 30, 2008

We went to see Cindy the PA and Dr. Markowitz in the afternoon today. Selena spent the morning starting to load up on fluids, protein (eggs) and lipids (milk and yogurt). It's supposed to help balance her nutritional needs during the first few days after the chemo.

Selena was cleared to have Chemo tomorrow (Thursday, July 31, 2008 at 12:00 PM).

Cindy felt that the tumor had shrunk a little. That's good because that's the whole goal of the treatment. She also gave her a prescription for Ambien CR to help her sleep when she is really agitated. (Even though the prescriptions and Doctor's visits are covered by the insurance, the co-pays are KILLING us. We probably spend over $200 a week on doctor visit's and medicine!)

We found out today that Selena's tumor is Her2/neu negative. It had been 2+ which meant it had to be sent out for a special test called FISH. Flourescent In Situ Hybridization. Fancy tech terms for a more accurate way than simple staining to look for the Her2/neu receptor. Having that receptor would have meant that she would have needed a years worth of treatment that targets the receptor to block the cancer cells from growing. The drug is call Herceptin. It is a good thing it is negative, because Her2/neu + tumors tend to be more aggressive.

Because of this, the next step in her chemo will be to finish out the Adriamycin/Cyclophosphomide at the end of August and then start Paclitaxol every week for twelve weeks sometime in the middle to end of September. This depends on whether or not there are any complications, like mouth sores or infections. Keep us in your prayers that she has an uncomplicated course.

LOSING HAIR

JULY 31, 2008-1:00 AM

It has started......

Selena was feeling restless tonight and realized that her hair is starting to fall out. I can pluck out little finger fulls when I run my fingers through her hair. We knew it was coming very soon.

Good night and more tomorrow after her Chemo treatment.

Thank you to everyone who is reading and commenting.

Just out of curosity, who are the visitors to the blog from Israel and Eritrea?

God Bless You all for your prayers, thoughts and good vibes. We receive them with gratitude and humility.

CHRIS MITCHELL

We have chair-ness

Today I went to my appointment with Dr. Elsaid. Turns out that his credentials are out of whack and he can't see any insurance cases right now. I was hoping to catch him up on what has happened since I saw him July 9. He finished his residency and is now going to be here for at least 5 years. Part of my criteria for selecting him as my physician was that last part - I seem to lose doctors as soon as I get one I like. Anyway, I saw someone else and she was great. Turns out I have thrush, due partly to the chemo and partly to the steroid I was still taking for my cough. I talked to her about my weird agitation and she suggested that I up my antidepressant. Yes, I'm on antidepressants and have been for about 13.5 years. My whole family seems to have serotonin problems so I'll be on them as a maintenance medication my entire life... Anyway, she said that increasing my meds would maybe handle the anxiety issue without putting me on something new, so I'm willing to try. She also gave me something new for my cough that won't make me drowsy.

After all of that, I came home and took a nap (naturally) and then we all -Chris, Mom, and I went chair shopping. We went to the La Z Boy Showcase and picked out a wonderful leather, you-can-sleep-in-it, reclining, swivelling, rocking cushy chair. My brother Steve, wonderful guy that he is, funded the endeavour so that I'll have a place to hang and read, snooze, watch TV while I'm not feeling well. Isn't he the best? The plan is that the "cancer recliner" will follow mom to the old folks home when we ship her off... I'm only partially joking! It was chosen with her furniture and decor in mind so that she will have custody after I'm well again. It will be delivered on Friday, just in time for the 2nd round of chemo.

We went to our favorite pizza place afterwards, got the car washed and gassed up (hurricane in the gulf - them's the rules)and picked up my prescriptions. I still have enough energy to be writing now! Feeling pretty good today. Hurricane is going to miss us, but we'll get some rain. Life is good.

No Energy

The last couple of days have been not so good. I seem to have too much energy to sleep- my mind is racing and I want to move around and to do things. My body, however is tired and I just want to lie down. It is a very uncomfortable thing to be REALLY TIRED and antsy at the same time. I am making myself crazy.

My brother Steve came to visit. He lives in Austin and drove down on Saturday to spend some time with us. I am always taken with how much I enjoy his company now that we are both adults. I guess I should stop being surprised any year now. As usual he brought movies. We watched Ghengis Blues, a documentary about a blind blues guy who does Tuvan throat singing and his journey from his home here in the US to Tuva in upper Mongolia. I'd highly recommend it.

Link to video of Tuvan Throat Singing:

http://khoomei.com/videos/kargchamp.mov

We also watched Hard Candy, a film with Ellen Paige which although it was well acted, I wouldn't recommend. I guess I could describe it as: intimate psycho drama/torture porn. It's sort of like "Extremities." Chris, Mom and Steve also watched something else that everyone loved but I slept through. I'll find out later and share...

We went to eat at Gorditas (Steve likes it too) on Saturday and after that I needed a nap. Today Mom and I went to Walgreens for a few things and after that I was exhausted. I am starting to worry about starting school! How am I going to teach my 5 classes a day? As they say: One day at a time. We'll reach that hurdle when it comes. I don't have to worry about losing my job - I know they'll work with me. I'm very blessed there.

This will be a busy week.
Monday - Appointment with Dr. Elsaid - my primary care physician
Shopping for a recliner?
Tuesday - Trip to the American Cancer Society to get a wig
Wednesday - Appointment with Dr. Markowitz to see if we do 2nd round of Chemo
Thursday - Chemo number 2?
Friday - Neulasta injection

Today was a great day!

Today was great and very gifted day. Let me count the reasons in no particular order:
1. Today Chris and I have been married for 14 years! I'm hoping for AT LEAST 14 more.
2. I felt pretty darn good. Good enough to do the next couple of things on the list.
3. Mom, Chris and I went and got a massage. I have a membership at Massage Envy - it was a gift to myself about a year and a half ago bought with some inheritance(thanks Ken) money - well worth it. I went to get my monthly massage today. I just randomly was booked with Merry, a therapist I've had before and liked. Here the world gets a little of what my Dad used to call Oogoo Moogoo. She recently got extra training in Oncology (cancer) Massage! She knew stuff I didn't know about when I shouldn't have a a massage, how I can use massage for pain management and how to deal with my port-o-catheter. She gave me a great massage, her schedule, a few stretches I can do(even in bed), and more info. I've found my own personal therapist! Mom had a such a good massage she signed up for a membership too. These little things make it clearer that she really is intending to move over here! Yay! Moms best with little steps...
4. We went out to eat at Hans Mongolian BBQ. I/We love this place and Mr. Han is always so nice. He didn't comment on the hair; At first I was wondering if he really recognized me, but as we were leaving he invited us(jokingly - I think) to come back tomorrow 'cause he's sure it'll be busy and he'll need some help. Food there is always great. Since you make it yourself you get exactly what you want!
5. Received flowers from my dad, Nelson Borrero! Beautiful yellow roses and daisies in a happy face mug - Even a grouch would smile at these flowers and they smell amazing.
6. My friend Mauri sent me a really COOL Batik headcovering. I will be stylin. It almost makes me eager for the stuff to fall out already.

Now the not so good: Shy persons skip to the end here. I won't go into details but, chemo changes the soft(mucus membrane) tissues. My mouth is much more delicate now. The inside of my cheeks feel very different and my gums are very sensitive. If the toothbrush slips I bleed. The other end of me is also very delicate right now. No blood! But I have to pee a lot for all the liquid I'm supposed to drink and all the extra action in the neighborhood has caused some "irritation." I think the entourage and I have found a solution. We're going to treat it like diaper rash for now. Email me if you have any revelations...prior experience?

Field trip!

I went out today!
No, not to an appointment but to a real live store! Mom and I went to Sam's and did the shopping thing. We were careful because there is not much room in the fridge, and I was warned by Chris not to breathe on or near anyone, but I GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE! I have absolutely no right, but it wore me out. An hour of shopping and then unloading the car and as soon as we got home I ate something and crashed for about 3 hours, but I am feeling much better. In fact I just got through buzzing off some more hair. See picture above. I'm now down to #4 clipper length. It is kind of nice to see the grey again...
Talked to a friend today who has gone through the Breast Cancer thing (shout out to Karen Hill - who is now the best kind of friend) and she said all kinds of encouraging things. One of which was NOT that 17 days after chemo starts is when you can expect the clumps of hair to come falling out. I haven't decided if I'm going to go all the way bald in anticipation or just stop here... I am a lot less vain about my hair than most people so I am not sure it will affect me that much. I've always kinda secretly wanted to be bald. Hey maybe I can rock a sort of Mohawk for a day or two. I may be too old (and fat- no comments please) for that now but when will I ever have a better excuse? And for those who ask, no, I never tried any of these weird things when I was younger and wilder - a boy cut and an asymmetrical cut were the extent of my rebellion in the hair area. Theatre kept me in check! Its hard to get cast when there is no wig budget and you have no hair. I must have a little more hair vanity than I like to admit. I did ask my mom to even up my clipper hacking as much as she could...

Health wise: I was given a shot of Neulasta on the day after chemo and one of the side effects is bone aches. I'm really feeling it. Chris pulled out all the stops and gave me a massage the other night that rivals any I've had elsewhere. Also, he's a "preferred care provider" (wink wink) so he's pretty cost effective. I've even resorted to taking a hot bath, (I say resorted, because my tub sucks) which doesn't seem to have done much. This medicine makes your bone marrow grow more blood cells so that you can endure chemo better. Everything I've read and been told, tells me that this period, the chemotherapy part of treatment, is the worst for feeling terrible. It hasn't been too awful so far. I can do this!

I'm still here...

Yes, it's me. I haven't been awake too much of the last 5 days. But here I am, almost bright eyed and mostly conscious. Chemo wasn't too bad. The actual infusion of the stuff wasn't able to be felt, just watched. Spent most of the time talking to Gloria, who was sitting next to me and was having her last chemo before surgery. I got a lot of pointers from Gloria, some that are pure quackery and some that are worth trying. She drives in for her chemo from up towards Tyler. There is a program that gives her a hotel room to stay overnight. I am so lucky to have my home here and my personal "entourage;" she seemed to be doing it alone. Not everyone has their own personal physician (to be) and nurse on premises and following their every move.

I am definitely experiencing what they call "chemo brain" and my thinking is very thick - for lack of a better descriptor. I also have been having low-grade fevers 99.5-100.3 on and off. If you have ever had a fever you know what that does to your head! The chemo nurse suggested that I start taking my anti nausea medication right away as soon as I left the chemo chair and continue taking it every 6 hours. I guess the idea is to not even let yourself get nauseous. The result is that I've been mostly stoned out of my mind since I took the chemo. Yesterday, I decided to NOT take the anti-nausea meds (at least during the day) and I've had a few more coherent moments. I won't bore you, but I've had dreams I haven't re-visited in years. I was also taking cough suppressants and decongestants - no wonder I was flying! Now that I am (mostly) back on earth, I am finding it a challenge to drink all the liquids I am supposed to drink. I wish I liked Gatorade. We are going through the flavors one by one to see if there is ONE that I like, but it hasn't been found yet. I am trying to trick myself, I have three glasses going at once - each with a different beverage. It all adds up!

I am sure this post is a little rambly. Frankly I don't care too much - see how good these drugs are? Thanks for your prayers and good wishes, cards and e-mails. I plan on getting through this and every little bit helps -I feel very loved.

Temperature back down....

POSTED BY CHRIS (Selena is in bed asleep)

Whew. Last night was a scary night. We had to monitor Selena's temp every 3 hours because it was over 99.0F Her temp was down by around 9AM so crisis averted.

Selena Spikes a Fever

POSTED BY CHRIS

Selena has been sick in bed all day today, Sunday, July 13. She has not been feeling well and has been having chills all day. She has a ton of blankets on the bed. You'd think she was Laura Ingalls in her Little House in the middle of a fierce winter on the prairie. (I just re-read that book, man those people had courage!) 

At about 1AM Monday, July 14 she started to spike a fever. We will have to check it at 4AM because once you get a fever over 99.0 F you have to start checking every 3 hours. If she has a sustained fever of 100.5 for more than an hour or a fever over 101.5 then we will have to go to the ED (Emergency Department) or Doctor's Office.

Chemo at last!

This post is by Selena's trusted companion Sancho. (Actually it's by Chris, her husband, but if you compared me and Sancho Panza from MAN OF LA MANCHA you would get the two of us confused.)

So, since the last post Selena has been sleeping, coughing, hacking and been just generally miserable. She's been on clarithromycin which will cover pertussis and sinusitis. She's also been taking inhaled steroids because she has RAD (Reactive Airway Disease) from the pertussis. And finally, she's been on a codeine cough syrup which she takes sips constantly. She's like one of those gamblers in an western movie using their pocket flask. (Or if you are a Harry Potter fan you could think of her like the fake Mad-Eye Moody in Goblet of Fire sipping his Poly Juice Potion all the time.)

We didn't have any appointments Monday, July 7 or Tuesday, July 8. This gave Selena some nice down time to get over her pertussis and sinus problems.

On Wednesday, July 9 Selena went to a cancer support group meeting from 8:30-11:30am called LOOK GOOD/FEEL BETTER and got all kinds of free stuff including a wig. It was nice for her to talk to other women with cancer going through the same thing she is going through. It was a little scary for me listening to all the complications many of the women have had. The class only had 5 women there and only 1 had not had any serious complications. If you exclude Selena since she has not had any treatment yet, that leaves 3 out of 4 having serious (hospitalizations) complications. These are not great statistics....

I am going to let Selena tell you more about LOOK GOOD/FEEL BETTER. She had a real nice time and was glad she went.

After the meeting we went to see our Medical Oncologist and the perky Physician Assistant. She has a habit of saying "Good girl" after every other thing she asks Selena to do. It's a funny affectation.

After exam her doctor felt that she was significantly better and could start her chemo the following day. Selena was relieved. She has been chomping at the bit to get it started. (I think she's just looking forward to being bald so she doesn't have to wash her hair!)

We went out to a little Mexican Restaurant called Gordito's to celebrate. Kind of a weird thing to celebrate, but you need to look at each step as a little victory.

FIRST CHEMO DAY

THURSDAY, JULY 10, 2008

11AM- PLASTIC SURGERY APPOINTMENT

We had a plastic surgery appointment at 11am to discuss her reconstruction which is way down the line. We watched a video about how they do the construction. I had already learned about this in medical school, but it's a little different when you are watching with your wife and not reading about it in a book. The resident that saw us first was really nice and answered our question about how they did the mastectomy. We didn't have the clarity to ask the breast surgeon a few weeks back. We heard "mastectomy" and kind of went numb, so it was nice to get that question answered. The plastic surgeon was my group leader/attending physician when I did my plastic surgery rotation. He spoke to about her options which are tissue flaps only. Because of the radiation therapy, she is not a candidate for implants or tissue expanders. They took pictures of Selena naked from top to below her waist so they had a good idea of what the breast looked like and also what kind of tissue they could use for the flap to make the new breast. It was a rather depressing appointment for us both because once again, it just got a little bit more real. She is going to have her right breast completely cut off.

12:15PM - LUNCH

We rushed home after the appointment and had a really nice lunch prepared by Donna (Selena's mum). It was a delicious egg-salad sandwich. They told her to eat light before the chemo.

1:45PM - CHEMOTHERAPY CENTER

At 1:45PM we went to the INFUSION CENTER. Ominous sounding name for a center that gives chemo and also blood transfusions for people with blood disorders like sickle cell. We waited for an hour and half in the waiting room before we went back. I have decided that this is really what cancer is all about. It's a lot of waiting in a lot of places you don't want to be.

3:15 PM JULY 10, 2008

WE ENTER THE DEN OF CHEMO

BEWARE ALL YE WHO ENTER

Just kidding. It was actually really nice. It was a big room with about 12 big Lazy Boy recliners, each with their own LCD TV on a swivel arm from the ceiling. They started the chemo about 3:30PM and Selena tolerated it really well. She didn't have any side effects other that a really dry mouth.

We had read about the chemo causing mouth sores so we came prepared with lots of water, and a big glass with ice in case Selena's mouth started to burn. We talked with a lady next to us that was finishing her chemo that day and she gave us tips and wished us well. We finished about 4:45pm and went home. Selena was feeling really woozy from the anti-nausea medicine and went straight to bed. We spent the rest of the evening periodically waking her up to get her to drink lots of water because one of the drugs, cyclophosphomide, can really burn your bladder if you don't flush it out. It was hard to get her to drink the 2 Liters that the doctor told her to drink but we got it down her and made her a peeing machine. She actually got up for a little bit and ate a little dinner with her mum and me.

She slept well throughout the night. She is taking an anti-nausea medicine every 6 hours right now to keep her from getting sick. She did have to get up in the middle of the night to take an Imitrex for a migraine headache that was starting.

JULY 11, 2008 - NEULASTA

We got up early this morning and went back to Casa de los Chemo to get a $4000 shot called Neulasta. It makes your bone marrow work overtime to make new blood cells including white blood cells to help you fight infection. The chemo destroys red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets. It's important to replenish them or else you become anemic and can get some really nasty infections. We came home after the shot and went back to bed. Selena is in bed right now reading and generally feeling drowsy no vomiting or diarrhea yet. Donna and I are holding our breaths because we know it is coming.....

Thank to everyone that has left comments for Selena. We also appreciate every one's thoughts, prayers and positive vibes. We feel them all and it really makes a big difference knowing we have so many people that care about her.

Sorry for such a long post...... Chris

By the way, next Friday, Selena and I will have been married 14 years!

No chemo for you...

I haven’t felt much like writing – sorry. Here’s the deal. Wednesday we (Chris, mom and I) went to Dr. Markowitz (oncologist). I had an appointment at 1:00 for labs – they take blood every time to make sure you are healthy enough for what they are planning on doing. I still had/have my cough from hell, so I asked for a mask to wear while I was there. An amazing lab tech named Ms. Guy took my blood, and I tell ya, she has magic hands. I was very complimentary (OK, I gushed) because I have been “stuck” pretty regularly lately and this time I didn’t even feel a prick! So when she pointed out her supervisor, I took a minute to let the supervisor know how good she is. I don’t think I can request her for future labs, but I’ll try! Later, Cindy (Markowitz’s nurse/practitioner) came in and examined me. My breasts are a little tender for her. She seemed concerned and a little surprised at the fact that when she palpated me it hurt. Neither Chris nor I liked that, it worries us. This is one reason we want to start chemo ASAP. I told her of the appointment with the Dr. about the cough and possibility that it could be Pertussis. When Dr. Markowitz came in the room he wouldn’t come near me, even though I had a mask on. We talked about the “plan of attack” AND the fact that I’m not well enough to start right away. I am to continue taking my meds and if I have lost the cough by next Wednesday...

If I am well enough we start next Wednesday, July 9. He is going to start me on Chemotherapy every other week for 8 weeks. This is how it tentatively maps out: I will go in on Wednesday at 12:00 for labs. At 1:00 I see Dr. Markowitz. If he thinks I am ready, I will have chemo Thursday. Friday, I return for a shot of the stuff you see advertised on TV that is supposed to boost my white blood cells so I can do it all again in two weeks.

Of concern: It looks like surgery won’t be even considered until October/November.

Mom cut off my hair on Thursday – it is VERY short and dykey/spiky. I gotta tell you it is much cooler, I have been wearing it in a ponytail constantly. We are planning on going to this Look Good/Feel Better thing on Wednesday morning (Mom and I) which is held by the American Cancer Society. It’s a support and makeover class where they give out tips, makeup, wigs etc.. to cancer gals like me. I have been told I will lose my hair. Those of you who know me – isn’t that all of you? – know how not vain I am, at least about my hair. I am not even sure if I’ll wear a wig. I just want the option. Maybe I’ll get a few! Different colors, lengths, styles. Since I have been working at Central Middle School where I work with a lot of African Americans, I think my attitude toward hair has changed. Many of my students and/or coworkers change their hair so often with extensions, wigs and whatever, you don’t know what you are going to see day to day. I figure I can mix it up too! Whim of the day – hat, short hair, scarf, long hair, fake tattoo, big earrings... Maybe I’ll become “that weird hat/hair lady.” Since I have such a big head – hey no comments – I figured I better cut my hair off before trying to fit a wig. In the past, when I wore wigs in various shows, I have always had a hard time squeezing into and keeping wigs on my head. I’ve never been bald underneath, so this might be a whole new world, and there’s a first time for everything! I am also a bit concerned that I have a weirdly bumpy head (hey, I'm a mutant, I accept it) and should have a wig for backup. I'm gonna start collecting cool and unusual scarves… If you feel inspired to send me something, I'm told silk is NOT GOOD 'cause it just slides off a bald head.

Port install: part 3 -SUCCESS

I now have a Port! Woo-hoo! Yay! At least 5 different people on the day of the installation said "Third time's the charm!" I hafta go on faith for the rest of it. I went through the previously described drill - see entry on Port parts 1 & 2. Everything was amazingly similar. Many of the same people, places and things happened to and around me. I came out on the other end this time and they tell me I have a port. I hafta go on faith. Sore arm- check. Little brochure - check (I actually let her give it to me this time - I wasn't taking the dad-gummed thing without making it through the whole procedure.) Little bump under the dressing - check. ID card for the wallet - check. Anyway, all this was yesterday and I spent the rest of the day sleeping off the joy juice and stuff.



Today, I had an appointment with Dr. Arrastia (the OBGYN oncologist) who was sooo nice that I almost didn't get upset when she told me that I would be having my ovaries removed and should consider giving her my uterus too. All of the doctors (Hatch, Arrastia, Silva) are of the same mind that:

1. My ovaries, being polycystic, haven't done much for me lately.


2. Won't do much for me later. Having ovaries hanging around could make it harder to treat my cancer. There are medicines that would require me to be post -menopausal to work best.


3. Arrastia said they were pretty funny looking too. She did say I have a "nice small uterus", which I took as a compliment - hey take 'em where you can get em!

She then did a pelvic exam, and prescribed the BRCA1, BRCA2 gene test for me. Our family tree is so small that the genetic test might be valuable in deciding what to do with my"nice small uterus." She changed the dressing on my port, which had bled. It is better and has started healing already. I made Chris take a picture with his cell phone so I could see... I was surprised that there are no visible stitches! I'll see if Chris thinks the picture is too gross to post. She is concerned about my blood pressure, which has been a little erratic. I think it's from the coughing (yes, I still have a heinous cough) and the stress, but she wants to be sure that when it comes time to do surgery that things are under control. She thinks it can all (the mastectomy, the ovaries and the uterus) be done at one time if I'm healthy enough.

Next it was on to Family Medicine. My Dr. Elsaid is on vacation, but I saw Dr. Irwin, who has worked with Chris and we addressed the issue of the neverending cough. It really started acting up in her office too! So we are covering the bases: in case it is Pertussis (whooping cough) she is putting me on some serious antibiotics that will/would take care of that or a sinusitis oriented thing. I got some inhaled steroids and a cough syrup. I'm sure Chris and mom will sleep easier now! One would think with all the antibiotics I've had in the last month I'd be CLEAN.

Tomorrow is Dr. Markowitz (oncologist)! Turns out that on Monday, Chris missed the tumor board, they had discussed me last week. He did go to Pathology and review with them a few things so he'd have a better picture of what is going on. I had been hoping that at this Markowitz meeting we would, now that all the tests are in, put together a plan for treatment and then begin chemo the following day. I am worried/thinking that the cough and the just installed/not yet healed port are going to put chemo off at least another week. I should, at least have some sort of a timeline, though. I have no idea yet how this maps out - a year? 9 months? 6 months? When can I have the surgery? How long is the chemo? How long is the radiation? My original idea of "My summer will suck, but then it will be over" seems to be very idealistic. These are all questions to be answered dum, da, dum... Tomorrow.

Every day it gets a little real-er.