Mum again

Thanks for all the comments,messages,energy and prayers. There is some light!! Yesterday Selena said " Wow, I've been up for four whole hours". Today she went to the beach with Chris for a wee outing.
I took you'al advice and made brownies tonite. Chocolate, chocolate yum! It made ME feel better. Also good to talk to my friend Sandy, couldn't do without you girl!!
Gustav is looming and we made plans to go to Houston to stay with Michael and Donna Mitchell but we are waiting till tomorrow to see which way he is heading? We won't evacuate unless we have to do so. Chris is worrying about being without electricity and with Selena's compromised imune system becoming ill soo.... I did go out to the library and stocked up, also filled up the small car with gas in readiness.
Chris got me an Ipod. Yes I now have a purple Ipod and yes I am using it. Chris put one of Alexander McColl Smith's books on it that I had not read and I am again walking with Mma. Romotswe and her #1 detective agency.
They will drag me into the electronic age protesting all the way but getting there anway.

New blogger

This video was supposed to be posted on Friday August 29. 

There was a problem with BlogSpot.

My cute hat

One of the hats Mum has made to help keep my head nice and warm.

She's become an expert at making them.

Another day of the same. In bed all day. Ate mac and cheese and watched a little Harry Potter 2 with Mum.

Sage, you should have Nana make you one of these hats. You would like it. :)

Errand Boy

(ceiling fan noise)

Saigon . . .

I'm still only in Saigon.

Everytime I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle.

When I was home after my first tour it was worse...

I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. When I was here I wanted

to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting

back into the jungle. 

(sounds of mosquitoes, motorcycles on the streets)

I'm here a week now, waiting for a mission. Getting softer. 

 Every minute I stay in this room I get softer. And every

 minute Charlie squats in the bush he gets stronger. Each

 time I looked around, the walls moved in a little tighter.

Sitar music starts to play softly at first and then louder as

 the madness grows. Gradually the music is recognizable as

 THE END by THE DOORS.

I go crazy, striking martial arts poses and break mirrors,

 break pictures and destroy vases with dead flowers. In my

 small dirty Saigon hotel room I think I am being attacked

 by the VC. I collapse.

Why was I back in Saigon?

 I wanted a mission. And for my sins they gave it to me.

 Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice

mission. And when it was over, I'd never want another.

                                                                                                       APOCALYPSE NOW 1979

This is what it feel like taking care of someone with cancer. It's like getting a mission, thinking you are ready and then realizing that nothing ever prepared you for it. You want to strike out against something. The cancer and the chemo that's making your wife so sick she spends all her time in bed. It eventually makes you want to spend all day in bed. Sapping every bit of energy from you. There is no striking out but the walls DO close in. Your hands DO get cut when you break the mirrors. The mission feels futile, long and you hope you can make it to Cambodia to confront Colonel Kurtz. Will I have the courage to kill him? I am being ferried up the river to Cambodia 2 click north of the Du Long bridge in the upper outer quadrant of the right breast 5 and 10 cm from nipple at 10 o'clock by a team of medical oncologists. They tell me the mission is routine. They've been to Cambodia before. They've even been to Laos. How can this be? There were treaties signed. But this is where the cancer waits. We're not even supposed to be in Cambodia, but this cancer, Colonel Kurtz is up there operating without any restraint. He must be terminated. My resolve remains strong. Even though my mind and body are weak.

I have sympathy-chemo fatigue and residual meninigitis headaches. I want to stay in bed all day with Selena too. Thank God for Mum being here because I am not much help right now. As a caregiver I would have to rate myself a zero except that I love Selena with all my heart and soul and try to do anything I can to help her feel more comfortable. This must count for something. My head drugs cloud my mind and I don't know what I am saying too much so I will close.

I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. 

That's my dream, it's my nightmare. 

Crawling, slipping along the edge of a straight razor and surviving....

I make no apologies for this entry. I am hurting and sad. Selena is feeling very bad, she has been in bed for many, many days, feels terrible, can't eat, can't watch TV, can't read, listen to a book on tape, listen to me read to her. She is a zombie. I was able to get her out of the house for 1 hour today to get to eat about 3 bites of a gyro down town at THE MEDITERRANEAN CHEF RESTAURANT. She couldn't taste it and didn't enjoy it. We parked right in front so she only had to walk a few step and it got her out into the fresh air for a little bit. She slept the rest of the day. I am sad and high.

Mum land

Hello! This is Mum, alias Donna or "D". I have jut been shown how to blog my own entry. We have all been zombies for the last five days or so. Selena received her 4th chemo and promptly
became sick and has been in zombie land ever since.
Chris has been experiencing a meningitis attack and zombies around Selena. I do my own form of off and on zombing, knitting, reading and of course eating.
Today I finally got my Texas nursing liscence. So can work here if I stay. Home is beginning to look awfully good now that I have been away sooo long. Miss my job and my friends in Florida.
So all depends upon how things go with the zombies and how work prospects are now. I keep finding more reasons to like this area.
I did get a library card and a local bank account with cheques. Now to generate something to put in it.
Selena starts a weekly chemo on Sept5 and that goes right up to Thanksgiving. We are hoping that it will not be as bad on her. Nurses at the infusion center say that it varies greatly and she may be very well or terribly sick.
I have been fascinated by the Twilight books and am listening to the newest one Breaking Dawn now. If any of you haven't tried them yet they are a "must read".
More later D

Apologies to all Republicans

The following apology from the blogness. Neither I nor Selena meant to offend any Republicans during the making of this blog.

Been a long time since I rock and rolled....

Let's all pretend that was in my VERY best impression of ROBERT PLANT. Gotta love the Led.

Yes, I my be a theatre fag, but I have been known to rock out on some LED ZEPPELIN in my youth. As in youth I mean fourth and fifth grade riding to school with my brother Patrick in the back of the 1972 Ford Pinto. No, it did not have the retro-fitted plexi-glass spacer to protect it from exploding if it was rear-ended. That was for woosies, damn-it! It did however have a KILLER 8-track deck which he used to time-out just perfectly to plat PINK FLOYD's "Pig Man, Pig Man, ahhhh shoooo whaaa deee whaaa." as we drove past the police at the bottom of the hill at Mineola High School. Patrick, you were suck a friggin rebel.

My post will NOT be good tonight because I under the influence of a class II substance known as Norco also known a Vicodin to control my severe meningitis headaches. For those of you not familiar with my statistics. I have a very rare medical condition called Mollaret's Meningitis which is excacerbated by the fact that I have a leaky blood-brain barrier. (Rare genetic defect, meybe.... 

This is nothing like the Leaky Cauldron in Harry Potty and we shall mention Harry Potter no further in the Blog. The afroementioned leaky blood-brain barrier makes it very easy for viruses to slip their sorry little selves in my spinal canel a wreak serious havoc with my brain. I have been running a fever of 101-103 since Wednseday and have not been the proper caretaker  for my dear wife. Thank God that Selena's fine example of a mother is residing within these walls to take care of her daugther lest she be left to the wolves as nothing more than carrion. Just as poor Antigone and Ismene's brothers were thus left to be devoured as carrion by the wild bird because their father Creon would not thus allow them to be buried. Little did he know that this would be his tragic down fall. (He would have known, perhaps if he had listed to the chorus shouting at him all the time. What was he, deaf?) I apologize for dramaturgical digression. Sometime an old show queen has to show off...

As stated before, I ha been in bed since Wednesday and have been no help to anyone except the bed bugs. Except we don't have bed bugs, THANK GOD, so they just have to fend for themselves soemwhere else in town. I have been narcotized to keep the pain from destroying my head. Luckily, because I take anti-virals daily, these episodes usually do not last for more that a week and I am now out of bed today. 

I cleaned my bunny world today. It tood me 8 hours instead of two because I am like an old man. (I move slowly and fart often.) The bunnies appreciate both, I think. The bunnies live in the front dining room right know because Donna-Wonna has the Bunny Room so she can have a real room to be and God Bless Michael, my brother, he bought her a real bed, so she does not have to sleep on the floor.

So enough about me being sick, I am always sick any way and that is not why you are reading this. This is not titled:

CHRIS' MOLLARET'S MENINGITIS JOURNEY

is it? NO! So let's have an update on my lovely wife Selena. First of all she looks very lovely without hair. It makes her eyes look very beautiful. Second of all, I love her because she is brave and strong and does not complain. Third of all, she drinks H2O when we tell her to, so she does not damage her bladder or get dehydrated. She is the perfect patient.

She has been FEELING LOUSY since Thursday's chemo #4. Sick, nauseated, vomiting, no appetite, lots of headaches, restless, can't sleep, unable to get comfortable ANYWHERE in the house. I wake up in the middle of the night and find her laying on her head, butt up in the air, knees on couch and arms dangilng off couch sound asleep. Other times, sound asleep, but scratching her arms like she is trying to remove an alien life for from them. Maybe she is. I hope it is not a highly evolved race and she plucks them out and kills them and starts an intergalactic war. Well, it's their fault for implanting themselves in the arms of a chemo patient, stupid space-tards.

I must for to go to sleep.

I make the apology of grammar of the badness. Drugs impair my thoughts.

As they say........                Just say no......

to republicans